


Pair of Deuces

by Creed Cascade (creedcascade)



Category: Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Small Town, F/M, M/M, What-If, Wordcount: 30.000-50.000
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-01-03
Updated: 2012-01-02
Packaged: 2017-10-28 19:21:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 41,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/311349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creedcascade/pseuds/Creed%20Cascade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack returned to Riverton with Ennis after Brokeback Mountain. Ennis got married and Jack stayed by his side as his “best friend”.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a dream sequence in Life Ain’t Easy. Deals with mental illness (not the boys), small town "politics", secrets and religion.

Jack woke up to an insistent pounding. As he stumbled out of bed, he could hear the shrill cry of a baby through the thin front door. He flung the door open and saw Ennis standing in front of him. He was holding Junior’s tiny hand in his own and cradling the baby in his other arm. Junior’s face was puffy and tears were steadily running down her face. She was crying so hard that the toddler was hiccupping.

Ennis was pale and Jack’s attention was immediately drawn to the gash just above his right eye. The blood had trailed down his cheek to drip onto his shirt. Jack immediately checked the girls but neither of them was marked with any blood.

“Christ, Ennis… you’re bleeding.”

“She threw a plate at me…” Ennis mumbled. He just kept standing there holding onto his girls like they would disappear if he let go.

“Okay…” Jack answered carefully. He was afraid if he said the wrong thing he would spook Ennis. Jack reached out and grasped Ennis’ arm. “Want me ta take the baby?” When Ennis just shook his head, Jack kept rubbing his arm. “Okay. Ya don’t gotta give her up. But why don’t ya come inside?” Ennis still looked a little uncertain and Jack tried to coax him using guilt. “It’s not good for the girls…”

Ennis’ brow crinkled. Silently, he stepped inside the apartment and Jack closed the door behind them. He wanted to tend to Ennis’ wound, but didn’t want to let him out of his sight. Ennis had no bags, just the clothes on their backs and the stuffed horse Junior was clutching with a death hold.

“Wanna tell me what happened?”

Ennis answered in a hoarse whisper. “She threw a plate at me.”

“Got that.” Jack moved his hand up from Ennis’ shoulder to cup his face. “Why?”

“Don’t know.” Jenny fussed in his arms and Ennis bounced her a little. “Not like her…”

“Said yourself jus’ yesterday that she was actin’ all squirrelly since the baby was born.”

“Yeah…” Ennis admitted with a sigh. His tense posture had visibly relaxed since Jack touched him. “But, usually jus’ sleeps a lot. Cries…”

Jack brushed his thumb over the blood trail on Ennis’ cheek, smearing it. It wouldn’t need stitches, but had to hurt like a bitch. His hate for Ennis’ wife doubled in that instant. “She had no right ta hurt you.”

“I don’t know…” Ennis shook his head. He looked so damn lost it was heartbreaking. His eyes were blood shot and glistened with unshed tears.

“She had no right!” Jack’s voice was thick and loud.

It was loud enough that it startled Junior, who looked at him with wide brown eyes and her lip quivered. “Jack Jack?”

“Oh hey, now, don’t cry, princess,” Jack told her immediately. Keeping her hand in her father’s grasp, she held the other one up, gesturing that she wanted to be picked up, the stuffed horse hanging from her fist. Jack couldn’t resist and hunched down to lift her up. He noticed that Ennis held onto her little hand until she was in Jack’s arms, but didn’t say anything. Jack bounced her in his arms until her breathing calmed. “See, I’m not angry at you.”

Junior laid her head on Jack’s shoulder and sniffled. “Jack Jack…”

“Hush now, darlin’, you’re okay. Daddy’s okay…” Jack moved further into the apartment and Ennis followed. Jack settled one hand on her head, running his fingers through the soft brown baby curls. Junior stuck her thumb into her mouth and started to suck.

Jack knew that whatever had happened, it had been bad. Bad enough that Ennis had taken his girls and run to Jack without thought. Bad enough that Alma had let him go. Jack kissed Junior on the top of her head and turned back to consider Ennis, who had been watching all of that with a solemn gaze.

“Her own mama won’t even do that for her no more.”

Jack squeezed Junior a little tighter. Every child deserved to be loved. “Has it gotten that bad?”

“Alma don’t act like her mama no more… seems like she don’t wanna. Jus’ gotten worse after Jenny came along…”

“I knew that, but…” Jack had no idea what to say. He had watched Ennis suffer as his wife stopped pretending that everything was okay. If it wasn’t for the girls, Ennis wouldn’t have any excuse to go home at night. The life Ennis thought he needed had become a nightmare. And Ennis’ refuge was with Jack.

They worked all day together and no one batted an eye when they shared a beer afterwards. Riverton was small enough that everyone knew that Alma was going through a tough time. Men looked at Ennis with sympathy. With two babies less than two years old and a wife people said wasn’t right in the head anymore, they didn’t fault Ennis for spending time at Jack’s apartment over the laundry mat. They didn’t gossip that he was a bad father or husband for maybe drinking a little too much and having to spend the night away from home. People saw how hard he worked. They also talked about how much Alma had changed from the sweet girl they all knew. Ennis wasn’t running around on his wife with one of the fast girls and didn’t beat her. As far as everyone was concerned, Ennis and Alma Del Mar had problems. But then again, who didn’t?

But something had gone terribly wrong. Ennis had come to Jack in fear. This was the man who had insisted that he get married and have babies despite what they shared together. Whatever had happened had scared Ennis enough that it had drown that deep fear that kept Ennis with Alma. Jack felt sick thinking that what terrified the man he loved was his own wife. The fragile Alma had too much power over Ennis.

“We’ll get the girls settled ‘n’ then ya tell me…”

With Junior clinging to him, Jack went into his small bedroom and kept the little girl perched on one hip. He tore out the bottom drawer of his dresser. It was empty since he didn’t have much to call his own. He grabbed a blanket off his bed and folded it into the bottom of the drawer.

“This’ll do.” He set it on the floor by the couch. When Ennis looked at him a little sceptically, Jack insisted, “It’ll suit her just fine. Go on before ya drop her.” Ennis reluctantly settled her in the makeshift bassinet. It was big enough to fit the baby and the sides were just high enough so she couldn’t roll out. “See?”

Ennis didn’t have any fight in him. He just agreed for the sake of agreeing. “Yeah. It’ll do.”

“It will.” He wanted to make it all better, but he knew damn well there was nothing he could do. For now he had to be strong. “Can’t be that bad. Used ta sleep in the bathtub when my cousins stayed over.”

Ennis looked at Junior who had fallen asleep in Jack’s arms. “Not gonna put one of my girls in a bathtub.”

“‘Course not.” Jack shook his head. “We’ll pull off the cushions from couch so Junior can sleep on them.” When Ennis just stood there looking at him, Jack sighed and smiled weakly. “Friend, ya gotta help me out a little. If I move too much she’s gonna wake up.”

“Right…” Ennis grabbed the cushions off the couch and tossed them onto the floor. He watched as Jack carefully settled Junior on them and then tucked her in with the old blanket that had been draped over the back of the couch.

For a few moments they just stood there and watched the girls fitfully sleeping. It meant a lot to Jack that they felt safe enough at his place to calm down. His place was like a second home to both Ennis and Junior. When Alma was pregnant for the second time, Ennis would pick up Junior after work and take her to Jack’s apartment several nights a week. Alma had been happy enough to see them go, saying she didn’t feel well and couldn’t be bothered with Junior’s antics or Ennis.

Jack meant Ennis’ gaze. “Is it over?”

“I… I jus’…” Ennis stammered and finally bit his lower lip. His shoulders slumped, weighed down with sorrow. “Can’t take my girl’s back there.”

Jack stepped closer and laid his hand on Ennis’ hip. He was even more frightened now. Ennis had never agreed to leave Alma. “What happened?”

Ennis closed his eyes and tears wet his eyelashes. “She said nasty things about the girls. Her own babies… things that no mama should say. Things that don’t bear repeatin’.”

Jack’s hand moved from Ennis’ hip to rest on Ennis’ shirt, right over the blood stain. It reminded him of the blood stained shirt hidden at the back of his dresser.

“Not your fault. And I’m glad ya came here…”

“Can’t go see Alma’s folks even if I wanted to…” They both knew that they would automatically take Alma’s side even though her entire family knew how irrationally she had been acting. “They’ll take the girls. Been talkin’ about it already.”

Jack felt even sicker. He couldn’t take it anymore and drew an unresisting Ennis into his arms. “Not gonna let anyone take them from ya…”

“She’s not right in the head,” Ennis confessed to Jack in a raspy voice. “Known that for awhile. But… it was like the devil was in her… talkin’ outta her mouth…” Ennis crumbled into Jack’s grasp and in turn clung to him tightly. “Jack...”

“I know…” Jack crooned to him. He could feel Ennis shaking. “S’alright… s’alright….” He kissed the tears away from Ennis’ cheek.

END Part 1.


	2. Chapter 2

Ennis was standing on the edge of the highway with his thumb stuck up, trying to hitch a ride. He hadn’t bothered to try to hitch a ride right after walking away from Aguirre’s trailer. After being sick in the alley, he felt like there was no strength left in his body to move. His feet shuffled in the dirt along the side of the road.

There were no words for what the world felt like without Jack. Everything seemed a little duller and even the air a little heavier, weighing down his shoulders. With every step he moved closer to Alma and away from Jack. One step closer to the life he should want. He was going home to his pretty little wife-to-be and a promise.

Ennis could hear a vehicle coming up the road behind him. Without turning to look, he held his aching arm higher and didn’t really care if this person stopped or not.

But it was like fate was trying to get him back to Riverton faster than the wind because the crunch of the gravel told him they were stopping. Ennis’ arm dropped to his side and he shouldered his bag. There was no turning back from his decision.

“Goin’ my way, Cowboy?”

Ennis looked up to see Jack grinning from the window of his beaten up truck. “Jack?”

“Hasn’t been that long…” His grin faltered a little and his blue eyes were a little hesitant.

“What in the hell are ya doin’ here?”

“What’s it look like? Givin’ your sorry ass a ride.”

Ennis shook his head and took a step back. “I gotta go back.”

There was no hiding the small flinch from Jack, but he tried. He plastered on his best confident grin and told Ennis, “I know that. Now get in the truck. I’ll get ya where you need to be.”

“And then what?”

“Then figure I’ll need a beer after ridin’ with you for so long…” Ennis looked at him and his brow scrunched together. “Or half a bottle of whiskey if ya keep lookin’ at me like that.” Jack swiped at his forehead with his sleeve. “Hell, I don’t know what I’m doin’. Jus’ know I couldn’t wake up tomorrow knowin’ I couldn’t see you…”

“This ain’t Brokeback.”

Jack smacked the steering wheel. “Don’t I know it.”

“Still gettin’ married in November.”

“Yeah, know that to.” Jack sighed and leaned his arm out the open window. “Listen, friend… I am your friend, aren’t I?” Ennis nodded dumbly. “Well, okay then. Friends don’t walk away from friends.”

“You’re sayin’ friend an awful lot…”

“And you’re gawkin’ at me an awful lot…”

Ennis didn’t feel sick anymore. He felt like he wanted to reach inside that truck and smack Jack for being an aggravating son of a bitch. He felt alive again. “Don’t start with me, Jack…”

“Not starin’ nothin’ ‘cause I’m refusin’ ta let it end. So you get your goddamn ass in this fuckin’ truck so I can drive your sorry ass to that godforsaken town.” When Ennis looked like he was going to argue, Jack growled at him. “You son-of-a-whoreson-bitch, I said get in the fuckin’ truck, Ennis!”

Ennis responded automatically and moved to the passenger’s side of the truck, wrenching the door open with a shaky hand. He plopped down onto the bench seat and slammed the door shut. “Gonna shut up now than I’m in the truck?”

“Hell no!” Jack said and then gifted Ennis with a real smile. His mood had instantly zipped from pissed off to happy now that he had what he wanted. “You ever know me to shut up?”

Ennis glared at Jack. “No.”

“Guess I was lucky no else picked you up, huh?” Jack put his foot down on the gas, revving the engine as his truck had a tendency to die if it idled too long.

“Don’t go chattin’ at me like this is…” Ennis couldn’t bring himself to say ‘alright’ because that word has such a deeper meaning between them. It’s what Jack told him when he doubted. His hand came up to his mouth and he ripped at the skin around his thumb nail. It hurt but right now he wanted to feel any other kind of pain other than the deep ache of need he felt for Jack. Finally, he gave Jack a sideways glance. “Can’t be what ya want me ta be.”

Not wanting to give Ennis any chance at escape, Jack eased the truck into first gear. “Jus’ wanna be friends, Ennis.”

“Friends don’t fuck…”

Jack challenged him with a raised eyebrow. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“How many friends you had before me?”

“Enough…”

“Horses don’t count.” Despite himself, Ennis laughed at Jack’s joke. Jack tapped a rhythm on the steering wheel with his fingers. “We can make our friendship whatever we want it ta be. Nobody’s business but ours. You told me this was a one shot deal… well, you’re right. We got one shot at this. Walkin’ away was a mistake.”

Ennis was ripping away at the skin around his thumb again. He could taste blood in his mouth. “Not queer.”

“Told ya I ain’t queer either. But damn, Ennis, what we got…” Jack stopped and took a deep breath. “It’s got us bad. Girls come ‘n’ go… you know that. But a friend… a real friend, is a once in a life time thing.” Jack shared a meaningful gaze with Ennis. “Buds stick together.”

“What’re ya sayin’?” Ennis asked in hoarse whisper.

“Sayin’ that you can go get married… that won’t get rid of me.”

“What if I tell ya ta fuck off?”

“Then I’ll tell ya to fuck off right back,” Jack told him with a smirk. “You can keep throwin’ what ifs at me, Ennis. I don’t care. Decided I want this ‘n’ not gonna back out now. Told ya… one shot.”

“Only takes one shot ta get yourself killed…”

“Maybe,” Jack agreed, suddenly serious. “But that’s somethin’ I’m willin’ ta risk for you.”

Ennis was silent. And not the normal silence that ruled his life, but the kind of silence that knocked you in the gut, ripping any words right out of you. There was nothing he could say to that. Jack was willing to risk death for him. In that moment Ennis knew he was two things… a coward and a selfish bastard. A coward for going back to Riverton to marry Alma and a selfish bastard for not giving Jack up.

+++++++

“Hey, where were ya, Cowboy?” Jack whispered against Ennis ear. He had been sleeping when Ennis woke him up and only had time to pull on jeans. Now holding Ennis, the man kept touching him, running his hand over Jack’s bare chest and back. “Driftin’ off.”

Ennis clung to Jack that much tighter. Years later and Jack was still by his side. “Was jus’ thinkin’ about after Brokeback…”

“Can’t go back.”

“Makes me feel so damn old…” Ennis admitted. He looked over Jack’s shoulder to where his daughters were sleeping on the floor. “Don’t know what I’m doin’.”

“No one does.” Jack pulled away just enough to give Ennis a little shake. “What do I always tell ya?”

A blush rose on Ennis’ cheeks and he looked away from Jack’s intense gaze. With two words Jack was always able to destroy and reel him back in. Two words that reminded Ennis what Jack was to him. He mumbled them under his breath so softly that they made no sense.

“Didn’t hear ya…”

And when Ennis got like this… maybe after a fight with Alma or thinking that someone knew about them, Jack would be there. Close to taunting, coaxing or seduction… whatever it took to make Ennis say those two damn little words.

Ennis whispered more clearly this time. “One shot…”

Ennis’ reward was a sweet smile from Jack. “One shot,” Jack repeated back to him. “No deal breakers with us.”

Ennis felt flushed with Jack’s declaration. He had learned that day in the truck that Jack wouldn’t leave him. That loyalty was tested again and again, but still Jack stuck by his side. Ennis knew he never did anything to deserve it. It was tested the day Jack went to his wedding and plastered on a fake grin to make everyone believe he was happy for Ennis. It was tested the day Ennis told Jack that Alma was in the family way. Ennis always seemed to be testing Jack and his friend was never found lacking.

Ennis shifted in Jack’s arms and then hid his face against Jack’s neck. “I’m no good for you.”

“Never asked for anything good,” Jack told him. He let Ennis hide his face and turned his head just enough so Ennis could nuzzle gently. Jack could feel Ennis lightly kissing his skin. “What we got… it’s not jus’ good. It’s got no words. Good jus’ don’t describe it. I jus’ wanted you. I’ll take you ‘n’ whatever comes with you… good or bad… it don’t matter.”

“Not fair.”

“Are you sure guilt’s not your middle name, Ennis?” Jack chuckled and caressed Ennis’ sweaty curls. “It is what it is.” His hand tightened in Ennis’ hair just a bit. “I can’t quit you. Don’t know how… don’t wanna know how.”

There was a soft broken sound from Ennis. Jack could feel the hot tears against his skin. “It’s jus’ so fucked up… ain’t no fixin’ this…”

Jack felt all torn up. The girls fussed a little hearing their daddy upset, but didn’t wake up. “Hey… we can make this work.”

“How?” Ennis asked. He didn’t wait for Jack to answer, just laid his sorrow bare. “Can’t jus’ leave her. We both gotta work, so who’s gonna take care of them? But, can’t take’em back ta Alma… won’t do that.”

Jack sensed that Ennis was close to telling him something. “Tell me…”

Ennis was silent for several long minutes. But finally the guilt and worry eating away at his soul burst open. “Baby was cryin’ ‘n’ cryin’… Alma was cryin’… Junior was cryin’… Alma jus’ kept sayin’ she wanted them ta shut up. Kept rantin’ she was willin’ ta do anything ta shut them up. Her eyes… looked so desperate, so sad… so goddamn angry at the same time. Looked at Jenny like a coyote looks at a sheep.”

“Christ, ya don’t mean…”

“Not willin’ ta take the chance,” Ennis answered, his voice becoming more fierce. “That’s why I left. Not ‘cause she threw no plate at me. ‘Cause I was worried about what she could do ta my baby girls.”

Jack didn’t want to believe that any mother was capable of that, but the look on Ennis’ face was tormented. The way his voice quivered and how tightly he clung to Jack told him other wise. Besides, Jack knew how messed up people could be. The world was wrong too often and touched by hated. It was the same injustice that kept him from being openly able to love Ennis. But he wouldn’t let that injustice and anything bad touch these girls. He loved them fiercely because they were a part of Ennis. Jack felt like they were a part of him.

Jack couldn’t let Ennis hide anymore. He moved so that his hands were cupping Ennis’ face. Their eyes met, gazes locking together. “We’ll keep’em safe, Ennis. That’s a promise.”

“I don’t know how…” Ennis confessed. “Only knew I had ta get away… came to you.”

“You’re safe with me.” Jack kissed Ennis to seal the promise. He didn’t have any answers, but Jack knew he had to be strong for Ennis. “Always have a stash of baby stuff here… formula, bottles ‘n’ diapers. Enough for a bit. We’ll call into the foreman ‘n’ tell him you hit a rough patch with the missus. Tell him you’re stayin’ with me.”

Ennis looked confused, tired and worn down. He was looking to Jack for answers. “What about the girls?”

“We’ll get someone ta watch’em once we go back ta work…”

Something darker flashed across Ennis’ face. “Not one of your women.”

“No… no, not one of them,” Jack promised immediately.

Jack knew how tongues wagged in a small town. He had been the centre of gossip in Riverton the minute he showed up with Ennis. Jack had rented the small two bedroom apartment above the laundry mat. Ennis couldn’t live with Alma until they were married, so stayed with him until November. Jack knew if tongues would be wagging, he wanted them to be talking about the right thing. He wanted to direct the gossip.

When Ennis went out with Alma, Jack would go down to the local bar and chat up the girls, dance a little. He never paid attention to one for too long and soon had a reputation for playing the field. More than one person said they doubted Jack Twist would ever settle down with a woman. As long as he had Ennis, they were right. And Ennis had gotten the reputation for being a sullen and cold son of a bitch because he had a habit of starring daggers at any woman Jack paid attention to. Ennis’ rough reputation only lessened a bit when people saw him with his daughters.

“Won’t have one of them…”

“I won’t. Those aren’t the only women I know.” When Ennis glared at him, he couldn’t help but smile weakly at his friend. “Know lots of ol’ ladies… some widows ‘n’ grandmas who’d love ta fuss over the girls. Won’t cost us a red cent.”

Ennis’ brow knit together in a scowl. “I don’t know…”

“They won’t hand over the babies ta Alma or her family, okay? Promise.” Jack felt a little sick making promises he wasn’t sure he could keep. “Everyone knows Alma’s a little off. Few dropped words from me ‘n’ I’ll have’em on our side. Ya know I can do it… these are the same ol’ ladies who love me. Always droppin’ off food. Tryin’ ta keep me away from their granddaughter ‘n’ marry me off all at the same time. It’ll jus’ take a lil’ of the Jack Twist charm ‘n’ a hint of the truth.”

Ennis shook his head stubbornly. “Can’t be the truth…”

“Close enough. Ya jus’ let me do the talkin’.

Ennis yawned and rubbed at his eyes. He was so damn tired and beaten down it was hard to wrap his head around everything Jack was saying. “Yeah… okay.”

“Good,” Jack praised him even as he started to walk Ennis back towards the main bedroom. “Now we’re gonna get some sleep. The door’s locked. Girls are sleepin’.

Ennis hesitated before he asked the next question. Jack already had him in the bedroom and was starting to unbutton his shirt. “What about Alma?”

“What about her?” Jack snapped.

“She’s alone out there… I think.” Ennis had left her in the small isolated house they rented outside of town.

“So?”

Ennis held still as Jack slipped the shirt from his shoulder. It was damp from his sweat and it felt good to be rid of it. It felt even better to have Jack touching him. “So… what if she calls the law on me?”

“We tell them the truth,” Jack insisted. He undid the button to his jeans and they hung low off his hips. “Or as much of the truth that suits us. You’d be surprised what people already know about your life, Ennis. You’re a good daddy and…” Jack sighed and shook his head. It always pained him to admit this. “A decent husband. Ya got a job, pay the bills ‘n’ don’t smack her around. Sure, kids usually go with their mama, but not if she’s unfit. There’s still somethin’ ta be said for bein’ the man of the family.”

“I cheat on her…”

“Way I see it… you’re cheatin’ on me with her…”

Now Ennis just looked pain and confused. He couldn’t handle this old argument with Jack right now. “M’sorry…”

Jack saw how upset Ennis was. He just reached out and pushed Ennis down to sit on the edge of the bed. He crouched down and started to pull off Ennis’ cowboy boots. “No one knows.”

He wiggled his toes and noticed there was a hole in his sock. “Still sorry…”

“Yeah…” Jack pulled off the other boot. “Where’s your hat?”

“In the truck.”

“Okay.” He watched as Ennis shimmied out of his jeans all while sitting on the bed. Ennis pushed his jeans and socks off with his foot. “We gotta cover all the bases. You call Alma’s folks in the mornin’ ‘n’ tell them ta come collect her. That way ya look all sympathetic like ‘n’ it’ll get her outta the house so we can get the girl’s stuff.”

Jack was talking like he was leaving Alma for good. Like it was over and done with. He hadn’t thought about it yet having just lived in the moment to get his girls to a safe place… to get himself to Jack.

“You’re not sayin’ anythin’, Ennis…” Jack prompted him. He had a worried look on his face.

“Don’t have much ta say…”

Jack sat down next to Ennis on the bed and laid his arm on Ennis’ shoulders. “You can’t go back.”

“I know. Don’t wanna… it was over the second she was a threat to my baby girls. Never really wanted it like I should…” There was no hiding the relief that washed across Jack’s face. Ennis looked at Jack and then laid his head on Jack’s shoulder. “Not like I wanted you.”

END Part 2.


	3. Chapter 3

Ennis woke up in a comfortable, though cramped bed. It took him only a moment to register where he was. It didn't take a genius to figure that out when Jack was pretty much sleeping on top of him.

"Mornin'," Jack greeted him with a sleepy mumble and nuzzled against Ennis' neck.

"Mornin'. Girls musta been beat, didn't move a muscle."

"How many times did ya check on them?"

"Just twice..." Ennis admitted. When Jack made a snorting sound, he sighed, "Maybe more than that. Figure I'd have gotten over that but... they're jus' so small. Hard ta believe somethin’ that small remembers how ta breath."

Jack shifted so that he was running his hand through Ennis' hair. "Ya worry too much."

"I'm jus' their daddy, I don't know..."

"Shut up, Ennis." Jack tugged on Ennis’ hair a little. "You're not jus' their daddy. Bein' their daddy means everythin’ ta them. And I know ya don't think you know anythin' 'bout girls, but ya love 'em 'n' that's all they need."

"If I'm all they got, then they got the short end of the stick."

"They don't have jus' you... they got me, too."

"Ya volunteerin' ta deal with all the girl stuff?" Ennis asked with a sleepy, teasing smile. "I mean... they don't even pee standin' up. Girls are harder than boys."

"You're puttin' the cart before the horse. Gotta deal with all them dirty diapers first."

Jack was pleased that Ennis was talking about a future with him. For all of the heartache that came with this arrangement up until now, it did have one plus side. Since Brokeback, Ennis had become used to having Jack around. He assumed Jack would always be around. Some people might feel unappreciated, but Jack wanted Ennis to need him. He wanted to be an unmovable fixture in Ennis' life that his friend couldn't imagine life without.

"Try ta catch a few more winks, cowboy. We're both gonna need it."

Jack was everything to Ennis that Alma Beers had wanted to be and he didn't feel any guilt. He only felt an overwhelming sense of responsibility as Ennis held him more tightly and trusted him enough to drift back into sleep.

++++++

(When Jack met Alma...)

Jack and Ennis were sitting in Jack's truck parked outside of Alma's house. They'd spend the night sleeping in the truck bed on a lonely back road, neither of them wanting to go into town.

Ennis looked up at Jack and then down at the gear shift. Jack was the one who insisted they go to see Alma right away. "Don't know why ya need ta meet her so soon."

Jack had accepted the moment he turned around to get Ennis that that there was no talking his stubborn cowboy out this decision, no matter how stupid it was. Ennis would just have to learn from this mistake and Jack would be there to pick up the pieces when it all came crashing down. And Jack never doubted that it would. He accepted that it was a waiting game and just like his miserable life back in Lightning Flat, he just had to wait for something better and seize it when the opportunity came.

"'Cause it's best ta get it over with 'n' the sooner she sees me with ya, the sooner she's gonna understand that I ain't goin' anywhere."

"She's probably not gonna like it."

"Sure she won't." Jack rolled his eyes. "Christ, Ennis, I got a feelin' ya jus' let this woman walk all over ya."

"I don't," Ennis snapped and glared at Jack. "She knows who's in charge."

Jack knew all the signs of when Ennis was getting defensive. "Who chased after who?"

"Don't matter." Ennis glanced up nervously at the family home like it was a funeral parlour.

But Jack knew that no matter if it was a man or woman, Ennis was too damn shy to start anything. But there was no point in arguing about this now. Jack intended to be the person Ennis came to escape the inevitable conflict at home.

"Yeah, it don't matter now." Jack tapped his fingers nervously on the steering wheel. "We go in there, ya say a quick howdy, then we gotta get outta there."

"She'll want me ta for lunch or somethin'."

"Well, ya jus' gotta tell her we..." He stopped when Ennis gave him a pointed look. "That's right, I said we. We gotta look for a job 'n' a place ta live. 'Cause it'll be easy enough ta get a job together on some ranch."

Ennis looked uncertain. "People'll talk."

"I'm not gonna settle for jus' seein' ya some nights 'n' when she lets ya go." Jack reached over and grabbed Ennis' wrist in a fierce grip. "That's not gonna happen. You got a problem with that?"

Ennis met Jack's gaze and shook his head. "Like workin' with ya."

Jack's grip lightened up and his thumb caressed the back of Ennis' hand. "Don't gotta worry about it. Jus' let me do the talkin' when we go around. Folks understand what it's like ta have two cowboys watchin' each others backs 'n' lookin' out for each other. They won't think nothin' of it."

"I guess..." Ennis still sounded uncertain and pulled his hand away from Jack. "Best be gettin' this over with."

"Ennis, I'm not gonna go in there 'n' make her hate me. In fact, friend, your lil' gal's gonna like me."

"I don't think..."

"If she likes me, then she won't think nothin' of me bein' around. Hell, she'll probably be beggin' me ta take you off her hands when ya get all riled up ‘n’ nasty."

A scowl swept over Ennis' face. "Still don't know if I like the idea of you two meetin'."

"Well, too fuckin' bad, Ennis. Ya plan on gettin' married, then I'm gonna meet your goddamn fiancée. I'm even gonna pretend ta like her. 'Cause I'm not givin' her any reason ta' fuss over ya spendin' time with me. If this is the way it's gonna be, then it’s gonna be on my terms. Ya got that?" Ennis bit his bottom lip and nodded before Jack continued. "One shot, Ennis. And right now, we're starring down the barrel of goddamn shot gun. No one, not some girl... not you, is gonna keep me away from you."

"Don't know why you're so fixed on me..." Ennis didn't understand why Jack wanted him. He sure as hell didn't think he was worth the trouble.

Jack smiled and shook his head. "Hell if I can figure it out either."

With that they left the truck and went up to the Beers family home. It was a modest, well kept home that spoke to its owner’s respectability. Jack already hated it with its manicured lawn and blue checkered curtains.

It was Alma who answered the door. And just like the home she lived in, the girl looked modest and respectable in her yellow dress. She was pretty enough in a plain and forgettable sort of way. She looked about a year younger than them and Jack wondered if she had ever finished high school. But most of all, he was happy to see that she wasn't wearing an engagement ring.

By the look on her face, you could tell she hadn't been expecting Ennis. She self-consciously tugged at her stained apron. "You're back."

Ennis took off his hat and nodded at Alma. "Yep."

Alma clasped her hands in front of her. She didn't make a move to hug or kiss Ennis. "You're back early."

"Uh huh." Jack didn't miss that Ennis looked uncomfortable. Knowing Ennis like he did, Ennis was probably weighing himself down with guilt over the lack of money and prospects. Ennis always thought people were judging him and by the little scowl on Alma's face, she probably was.

She untied her apron and hung it over her arm. "You okay?"

Ennis nodded. "Yeah."

"You're family okay?"

Ennis nodded again. "Yeah. Jus' snowed 'n' brought the sheep down early."

"Oh." Alma still seemed a little lost, but now she was smiling shyly at Ennis. "It's nice to see you again. I missed you, Ennis."

"Umm, same here," Ennis mumbled and clutched at his hat tighter.

That was when Alma caught sight of Jack standing behind Ennis. "Who's that?"

A slight blush tinged Ennis' cheeks. "Jack."

"Jack Twist," Jack said before anyone else could talk. This was a game and he intended to make the first move. He stepped closer to Ennis and clapped him on the shoulder. He planned to be touching Ennis a lot under the guise of friendship. "Ennis likes to forget people got two names. I told him ta tell ya that I just followed him home 'n' ask if he could keep me." Jack could feel Ennis' shoulder tense under his grasp, but he continued. "We worked together up on Brokeback. Jus' clicked, I guess. Fast friends. When we found ourselves outta a job early, Ennis here invited me back ta Riverton. Says there's always ranch work ta be had around here." Alma was looking a bit overwhelmed and that was exactly what Jack wanted. He kept one hand on Ennis's shoulder and held the other out to Alma. "Nice ta meet ya, Miss Beers."

Alma shook his hand in return. "Nice to meet you, too."

Jack gave Alma a bright smile that didn't reach his eyes and let go of her hand. He didn't want to touch her longer than he had to. "Now I can promise ya don't gotta worry about me sniffin' around your sister or nothin'. Ennis already warned me not ta try that..." Alma's mouth hung open a little in surprise. "Or any of your friends... or hell, any female ya know."

Alma seemed to collect herself, but also forgot her manners and blurted out, "You talk a lot."

"Now that I do. Makin' up for Ennis. A lot of silence up on that mountain."

Alma looked uncertainly at Ennis. "And you're plannin' on stickin' around... Jack?"

Now his smile was more sincere, but not for the reasons that Alma thought. "Like glue."

++++++

The phone rang, startling both Ennis and Jack out of the comfortable half sleep they had slipped back into while holding one another. As the babies woke with a start, they started to wail. The mattress was on the floor with no bed frame, so it was easy enough for both Ennis and Jack to literally fall out of bed and scramble to their feet.

"You get the babies, I'll get the phone!" Jack yelled at Ennis.

Ennis was already heading to the drawer that held Jenny, who was screaming bloody murder. Jack had hoped who ever was on the other end of the line would just give up, but the phone kept ringing. He felt sick thinking that it was Alma or her family.

He dove for the phone and huffed into the receiver, “Yeah?”

“Jack?” A female voice asked on the other end. “Are the babies okay?”

“Huh?” It wasn’t Alma. The voice wasn’t right. “Who is this?”

“It’s Joyce.”

It took a second for it to click into place. Joyce Wroe. Don Wroe’s wife. “Joyce?”

“Yes, Jack,” she said impatiently. “Are the babies okay? Ennis is with you, isn’t he?”

Jack nodded, even though he was talking over the phone. “Yeah… yeah, he is. They’re fine.” Jenny wasn’t crying as hard now that Ennis had picked her up, but he only had room for one baby in his arms. Junior had managed to sit up and stand up on unsure legs. She was already toddling her way over to Jack. “Just cryin’. Why are ya callin’?”

“’Cause Albert found Alma wanderin’ out on the road when he was out checkin’ his herd. She was holdin’ onto one of Junior’s baby dolls ‘n’ talkin’ nonsense. Babblin’ about her babies bein’ gone ‘n’ we all thought…” Joyce’s voice caught a little. “Albert went back ta Ennis’ place ‘n’ no one was there…”

“Ennis showed up here in the middle of the night,” Jack told her. All of the pieces were falling into place and he had to play this just right. Albert was the man Ennis rented his place from and lived down the road from them. Albert must have found Alma and then called the Wroe’s. “Alma had some sorta fit ‘n’ he… it’s not my place ta say.”

“Jack Twist, you tell me now,” Joyce told him, her tone serious. “That girl hasn’t been right in the head for a while now.”

Jack made a reluctant sound. Ennis was busy trying to hush Jenny and Junior had made her way over to Jack. She held her hands up and sniffed, her stuffed horse hanging from one fist. “Jack Jack, up!”

Jack cradled the phone against his shoulder and picked up Junior, resting her on his hip.

“Jack?”

“Yeah. Sorry, Joyce. Junior jus’ wanted ta be picked up. Alma was havin’ some sort of mental fit last night.” He made a point of lowering his voice, like he was telling a secret. Looking down at Junior’s pretty little trusting face, he knew he was doing the right thing. Rumours would already be flying around town about what went down at the Del Mar place last night and Jack wanted them to be sympathetic to Ennis. “Ennis was afraid for the girls. Showed on my doorstep pale as a ghost. I think she… threatened ta do somethin’ ta the girls…” There was a gasp on the other end of the line. He steeled himself, reminding himself that was only telling the truth. “Ya can’t go tellin’ anyone, Joyce. Ennis’ is a proud man ‘n’ he’s been tryin’ everything ta make Alma happy ‘n’ set her right. Leavin’ his wife was the act of a desperate man.”

“Of course I won’t,” Joyce promised him. “You’re only confirmin’ for me what we’ve all been thinkin’ for a while now. I gotta call Nora ‘n’ let her know the babies are okay. Albert said she was climbin’ the walls. You, Ennis ‘n’ the girls come on out ta our place.”

Jack bounced Junior a bit when she fussed. “We can’t do that, Joyce, we gotta a lot ta do… gotta find someone ta watch the girls…”

“Hush. No one better ta do it than me. Donnie needs your help today on Frank’s spread. You’re his two best workers ‘n’ a hard day’s work will take Ennis’ mind offa Alma.”

“But we…”

“I told ya ta hush up, Jack. It’ll all get taken care of. Say good bye now ‘n’ get yourself ‘n’ those Del Mars over here.”

“Bye…” Jack responded and heard a click. Joyce was one of the few women who could throw him off kilter, but it felt like a little bit of the burden was lifted off his shoulders.

++++++

When they pulled into the Wroe’s yard, it was just a little after seven o’clock. By this time of day, both Ennis and him would usually be over at Frank’s spread with Don, already with a few hours of hard work under their belts. They had taken Ennis’ truck with Junior sitting between them and Jack holding Jenny.

Jack knew exactly what was going through Ennis’ head as he stared at the brightly coloured house that was the same shade of red as the barn. “We gotta trust someone, Ennis.”

“Only person I trust is you.”

“Don’s been good ta us since we started at Frank’s. You like Don,” Jack reminded him. “Joyce is harmless.”

“What if she calls Alma’s folks?”

Jack shook his head. “You didn’t hear that woman on the phone. She don’t want any harm ta come ta those baby girls.”

“But what if…”

Ennis didn’t get a chance to finish because the woman in question came out from behind the house. He rolled down the truck window, not feeling comfortable enough yet to get out of the truck.

Joyce was about as wide as she was tall and smiling at them. Carrying a galvanised bucket and sporting rubber boots covered in muck, she came up to the truck. “Good, you’re here. Was jus’ feedin’ the chickens.”

“Mornin’,” Ennis mumbled. He didn’t meet her eyes.

“Mornin’, Joyce,” Jack greeted her much more friendly than Ennis did. “Don at Frank’s already?”

“Sure is.” Joyce reached out and opened the driver’s side door. “Well, get a move on. Into the house with the whole lot of ya.”

Ennis looked liked he was going to be stubborn, but reached out and smacked his leg while cradling Jenny with the other. “Ya want the baby?”

Ennis nodded and took Jenny into his arms. He looked a little more comfortable and nodded at Junior who seemed to understand the unspoken command to go to Jack. Jack was always amazed at how much father and daughter said to each other without words. And it made sense to Jack because there were days he swore only someone who shared Ennis’ blood could understand him. He picked up Junior and carried her towards the house.

Joyce abandoned the empty bucket by a flower pot filled with dead flowers. She kicked off the rubber boots that nearly came to her knees and walked barefoot into the house. Jack and Ennis followed her into the home that was wafting with the smell of coffee.

Joyce went to her stove and immediately filled three mugs. One she topped up with cream and the one Jack knew was for Ennis, she topped off with three heaping spoons of sugar. She deposited them on her pine table and then walked over to Jack.

Joyce ran a hand over Junior’s hair and kissed the top of her forehead. “No point in beatin’ around the bush. Thought for a moment we lost some of our own last night.”

Ennis still seemed nervous even though he had been to the Wroe’s place countless times now. “Jack said Albert found Alma wanderin’ around. She okay?”

“In her nightgown of all things carryin’ one of Junior’s baby dolls. I’m sure she caught a chill bein’ out barefoot in weather like this. She’s with Nora ‘n’ Albert. Nora called her folks ta come ‘n’ get her.”

“She was…” Ennis stopped, loosing the words.

Joyce didn’t move to take either of the girls from the men like some women might. “Crazy runs in the Beers family.” Joyce sipped at her coffee, making a face when it was too hot. There was no pretending that Joyce wasn’t judging Alma now. Her tone lacked any sort of sympathy. “Her great aunt joined the Lord of her own choosin’. We’ve been tellin’ Alma ta snap outta it for months now. Nora, myself ‘n’ some of the other ladies have been coverin’ for her when we can. Droppin’ by meals ‘n’ such. But she crossed the line last night no decent mama or woman should.”

Ennis looked pained and shifted Jenny in his arms. He tugged at her little blanket and readjusted her pink sleeper with his big hands. He felt like he should defend Alma, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He had stopped being able to understand a long time ago, if he had ever been able to do so.

Junior was playing with the buttons on Jack’s shirt. Jack sighed and shook his head. “We don’t want any trouble.”

“That I know.” Joyce smiled at Jack. “Ennis is lucky ta have a friend like you.”

“Ah, thanks.” Ennis always got nervous when people talked about them. “Ennis is like family.”

“As it should be.” Joyce put her coffee mug down and didn’t fuss when it left a ring of coffee on the table. “Now, jus’ one question for you, Ennis. Are ya plannin’ on leavin’ her?”

“Huh?” Ennis blurted out. Even though Jack was brash and often blunt with him, he never dealt well with anyone else who was the same way with him.

“Question’s simple. You want your wife back?”

Ennis looked at his girls and then snuck a glance at Jack. The answer was easy now. “No.”

“That’s good. That’s gonna make what we’ve already been decided much easier.”

A scowl deepened on Ennis’ face. “Huh?”

“After I got off the phone with Jack, Nora ‘n’ me got ta talkin’. We figured this would be the last straw. A young daddy like you havin’ ta raise two girls on his own, jus’ ain’t right. And we knew Bernice ‘n’ Harry Beers would be makin’ noise ‘bout gettin’ the girls. But that’s not right, either. Not right ta be takin’ them girls away from their daddy who did nothin’ wrong ‘n’ bein’ around a mama who’s not right in the head. And Bernice can’t take care of no babies with her weak heart ‘n’ especially after Alma’s sister moved to South Dakota. So no matter how much the Beers want it, Junior ‘n’ Jenny can’t go with ‘em.”

Ennis was feeling completely overwhelmed. It was only yesterday that had been dealing with Alma’s burnt food, constant crying and sad eyes. He had fled that night to Jack because of the awful secret he saw in her eyes and actions. That no matter how much she didn’t want to she might hurt her own children. But now other people knew. They had known that something was wrong for awhile. They weren’t judging and couldn’t see what the closeness truly was between him and Jack. It felt strange, but for the first time in his life, Ennis was starting to realize that someone other than Jack Twist was on his side.

“They’re my girls.” It was said with a quiet fierceness.

His intensity didn’t put off the older woman. Instead she nodded, seeming to be impressed by the young father. “You’re life’s gonna be in one hell of an uproar, Ennis. Figure you could use some help.”

Ennis unconsciously stepped closer to Jack. “How so?”

“For starters, the girls can’t be cooped up in no apartment.”

“Jack’s stayin’ with me,” Ennis all but growled.

“Of course he his,” Joyce clucked and sighed with patience. “He’s your best friend. Like a brother. Ya need him now. But that don’t change ya both can’t stay in a little apartment.”

Jack wasn’t even sure where this was all going. “Rent’s cheap.”

Joyce made a dismissing motion with her hand. “Don’t matter. Talked ta Nora. They’ve got a second place for rent jus’ up the road from us that’s vacant. Rent’s the same as their other place. Her ‘n’ Albert are gonna move your stuff out there while you’re at work today. Also figure that Frank’s gonna be a problem.”

It was true. One of the reasons they had gotten a job with the man in the first place was the simple fact that he was friends with Harry Beers. Even though he was their boss, he would be taking Harry’s side.

“We can find other work,” Jack insisted. He wasn’t going to let this set them back.

“Sure ya can…” Joyce was smiling again and dimples appeared on her plump cheeks. “Here. Already talked ta Donnie ‘bout it. He’s gettin’ run ragged workin’ as Frank’s foreman ‘n’ tryin’ ta run our operation, too. Frank’s a bastard ta work for ‘n’ I figure we can do better expanding our own operation. Donnie wants you two ta work for him. Pay’d be a little less, but I’d watch the girls for ya ‘n’ make sure ya have decent food in your bellies. Nora’ll watch the girl’s if I can’t.”

It seemed like some of the women of Riverton were circling the wagons. One of their own had misstepped and was being judged harshly by other mothers and wives. Decisions had been made and solutions found without either Ennis or Jack’s knowledge.

Ennis was speechless, but Jack spoke for both of them. They were being offered help and all they had to do was take it. “So, basically what you’re sayin’ is that we both got new jobs… new place ta live ‘n’ help with the girls?”

“Only if ya want, of course. “ She continued on like they had already agreed. “You give your notice today to Frank ‘n’ can start here tomorrow. And Jack, ya don’t have ta worry ‘bout your lease or nothin’. I’ll call Susan ‘n’ remind her of the favour she owes Nora. Ya can move over your stuff soon enough.”

“Why ya doin’ this?” Ennis’ tone was quiet and solemn.

Joyce reached out and patted Ennis on the arm. “’Cause we can ‘n’ it’s the decent thing ta do.”

END Part 3.


	4. Chapter 4

“I never said yes.”

“M’sorry, what was that, Ennis?” Joyce asked, turning to look at him.

Ennis cleared his throat. “I said… I never said yes to all this.”

“Ya don’t have to, dear.” Joyce gave him an indulgent smile. “All ya gotta do is jus’ let it happen.”

Ennis scowled and turned away from Joyce. Jack turned to him and said in a low voice, “I know it’s quick, Ennis, but…”

“Damn right it’s quick.”

Junior had seen her daddy’s scowl and was mimicking it, glaring at Jack. Jack pinched her cheek and she giggled. “It’s a fresh start.”

“It’s too easy.”

“Not everythin’ has ta be difficult, boys,” Joyce told them. “But why don’t ya let me take the girls ‘n’ you two can discuss this outside. And Ennis?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry if I’m stickin’ my nose where it doesn’t belong. Donnie says I’m always doin’ that. It’s jus’ that if you don’t move fast, the Beers are gonna be movin’ faster. Trust me, I know.”

He swore his wedding ring felt tighter than it normally did. “She’s still my wife. They’re still my babies’ family.”

“Might be true.” Joyce picked up her mug and drained the rest of her coffee. “This is jus’ advice. Ya can take or leave it, but things can get real ugly real fast.”

Ennis scowl grew deeper. “It’s already gotten ugly.”

He looked around the room, noting how everything was cluttered , but clean. His own house looked like a tornado had gone through it and on some days, twice. And that was one of the reasons he knew something was wrong with Alma. She had always been so neat and clean. But some time when she was carrying Jenny, things started to slip. It wasn’t like she changed over night. She just got sadder and moodier a little bit at a time.

He tried to make her smile. He bought her flowers instead of buying beer on a day after she came home from the hospital, but she’d only accused him doing something bad she didn’t know about. Then she’d cried a few minutes later for snapping at him. Other times he offered to go for walks with her because she used to like that, but Alma had said she was tired. He even tried cooking, but the whole family could only eat so much canned beans, soup and mashed potatoes.

And as things got worse, he didn’t want to come home at night, but he had to because the girls needed him. After Jenny’s birth it was the worst because Alma didn’t want to feed her even though they couldn’t afford formula. So many fights and the girls crying had just made it worst. Ennis felt like less of a man for not making his wife happy. He felt like a terrible father. He felt powerless and it was so easy to escape to Jack’s.

Jack never complained once if he begged the other man to come over to help with the girls after a full day’s work on the ranch. Alma would just sleep in the bedroom when Jack came over most nights. She would only eat a little of the food Ennis left for her. And Jack would be playing on the floor with Junior making her laugh in a way her Mama didn’t try to anymore. Jack had always been important to him, but when everything was falling apart, he had become so much more. Jack made sure Ennis’ life didn’t fall apart anymore than it already was. He reminded Ennis to pay his bills, pick up groceries and even to do laundry. Through it all, Jack had been there to listen and help. In the last few months, Jack had been the biggest sore point for Alma.

++++++

Ennis walked in the front door a little apprehensively. Immediately he noticed that the curtains were opened when they were usually closed. The kitchen floor had been cleaned and the sink wasn’t filled with dirty dishes. There was even clean clothing drying on the line outside. Alma was sitting at the kitchen table. She was wearing a dress that Ennis had always liked on her.

“Where were you?” Alma asked in a cold tone.

“Out.” He had Junior in his arms and looked over to see Jenny was sleeping in living room.

“You took Junior.”

“You didn’t seem to care,” Ennis snapped, but then sighed in frustration. He had taken off work early and come home to collect Junior. Alma had been sitting on the couch, just listening to the radio and starring off into space. Junior had gotten in the pots and pans, amusing herself in the kitchen. Jenny was still at the age where she slept most of the time. Alma had barely registered that he was there. “Ya jus’ asked me ta pick up smokes. I did.”

“You were with Jack.”

“Yeah, I was.”

“Ya took off work early ta be with him. Lost money that we needed.”

“If ya gotta know, I took Junior into the doctor ta get her shots,” Ennis snapped at her. “You remember your Mama told ya about them last time we went over for supper?”

Alma looked agitated. “I forgot.”

“Yeah, well… I didn’t.”

“Why did ya have ta bring Jack?”

“’Cause my truck ain’t workin’ ‘n’ I’m waitin’ ta fix it so I can pay the rent. That ‘n’ Junior don’t fuss as much when he’s around. Then we had supper at his place ‘cause Junior was hungry.” Ennis put Junior down on the floor since she was struggling in his arms. She always fussed more when they fought and he hated it. Ennis pulled Alma’s cigarettes out of his pocket and laid them on the table. “Place looks good.”

“No, it doesn’t.” She ripped open the pack and tapped out a cigarette.

Ennis ran his hand through his hair nervously. He was trying, but he was feeling irritated. Nothing he ever did seemed to work with her anymore. “Ya tried. That means somethin’.”

“I made ya supper.”

Ennis tried to smile at her, but it came off uncertain. “I can still eat. Always hungry.”

“Since you were late, I burnt it. Threw it out.”

Ennis bit his tongue. His patience was running thin. He didn’t want to yell in front of the girls anymore. “Jus’ food. Listen, I’ve been thinkin’. Ya don’t seem happy out here…”

“We movin’ into town?” Alma had never really wanted to move out of Riverton. She hated being alone out in the middle of nowhere with no one to talk to but crying babies.

“No,” Ennis said it more harshly than he wanted to. He took a deep breath and lowered his voice. “Ya know we can’t afford the rent in town.”

“We could move in with my folks…”

“No,” Ennis snapped. He turned away from Alma and looked down at Junior who was banging on a pot with a spoon. It hurt his pride as a husband to suggest this but he was willing to do almost anything to see Alma happy again. Even if it made him feel like he couldn’t provide for his own family. “We’re not movin’ in with your parents. I was gonna say… ya don’t seem happy out here. Maybe ya could get a job or somethin’? Jus’ part time. Your Mama could watch the girls…”

“I don’t wanna work. Don’t feel like it.”

“Ya don’t feel like much these days. Ya jus’ sleep, cry ‘n’ complain!”

Alma turned red, teary eyes on Ennis. “I can’t help it!”

“I don’t care.” Ennis tone was tired. “I get up every mornin’ ‘n’ go ta work when ya stay in a comfy bed. Bein’ a Mama ‘n’ a wife is a hard job, jus’ like mine, I get that. But you ain’t doin’ your job! At this point, your jus’ some shadow wearin’ Alma’s skin.”

Alma started to cry openly now. “How can you be so nasty?”

“’Cause I’ve tried everything else.” Ennis’ voice cracked and walked over to crouch down in front of Alma. He took her hand, which was so small in his own. “I got you ‘n’ two babies ta look out for ‘n’ I don’t know how ta do it. Ya tell me how ta fix this Alma, ‘cause I feel like I’m drownin’.”

“I don’t know how ta fix this, Ennis,” Alma sobbed. “You’ve never said you loved me…”

In that moment, he felt he was dying. It was true he had never told Alma that he loved her. He had never told Jack that he loved him either. Ennis pulled his hand away from Alma and stood up. He wasn’t sure he could ever say those words to anyone. “Maybe you can’t be fixed…” He stepped away from her. His chest felt tight and panic was creeping up on him. “I need ta go.”

“You’re gonna see Jack, aren’t ya?”

“I am.” He straightened, pulling on an emotionless mask. He tucked in the back of his shirt into his jeans. “Ya want me to drop the girls off with your Mama?”

Alma was silent for a few moments. “Would you stay if I asked ya to, Ennis?”

Ennis froze and stood there watching Junior. “Ya want me ta stay?”

The silence was thick with tension before she answered. She stubbed out her cigarette and lit another. “No. No, I don’t want ya to stay. Take the girls ‘n’ drop ‘em off at my parent’s place.”

Ennis’ shoulders slumped a little. “Why don’t I drop ya off to? For a visit.”

“’Cause I don’t wanna see them. They don’t understand. No one does. She’ll jus’ sit there ‘n’ lecture me. Judge me.”

“Maybe she’s right ta judge you…” With that Ennis bent down and picked up Junior.

+++++++

Ennis had left the girls inside with Joyce. Ennis was leaning against the side of the barn and Jack was pacing in front of him.

“Not gonna do anythin’ before I talk ta Alma.”

Now it was Jack who was scowling. “Ennis, I don’t think…”

“You’re right, ya don’t. Ya don’t think ‘bout what all these changes could mean ta me ‘n’ my girls. And how ‘bout Alma? She’s already loopy. I won’t…” Ennis stopped and his hand rolled into a fist. “I can’t let her get any worse ‘cause a me.”

The anger seemed to drain out of Jack. He looked back at the house but couldn’t see Joyce through the window. He moved closer to Ennis and put his hand on Ennis’ shoulder. “It’s not your fault.”

“Isn’t it?” Ennis asked in a hoarse voice. He didn’t pull away from Jack touch because he couldn’t. He needed it to ground him. “I married her when I shouldn’t have. Didn’t…” He couldn’t finish. Ennis couldn’t say that he didn’t love her enough because he didn’t really think he ever loved her. “Didn’t do right by her.”

“Ya didn’t do right by me either, Ennis, ‘n’ I didn’t loose my mind.” It was a low shot, but Jack felt like it needed to be said.

“I’ll do right by both of ya now though…”

Jack’s grasp tightened on Ennis’s shoulder. “I won’t let ya go back ta her…”

That’s when Ennis turned. He knocked Jack’s hand from his shoulder and in a quick move, had Jack pinned up against the side of the barn. Ennis’ hands came up and cupped the sides of Jack’s face as he pressed his own body against Jack. “Why didn’t you just let me be after Brokeback? It's because of you, Jack, that I'm like this.”

Jack’s own hands came to frame Ennis’ face. “Like what, Ennis?”

A few tears trailed down Ennis’ cheek and Jack wiped them away. When Ennis spoke, his voice was thick and raw. “Ruined for anyone else.”

“I know what that’s like, cowboy. Ya ruined me for anyone else the first time I saw you.”

“Ya scare me more than anything else, Jack. Scare me more than Alma. Even scare me more than even bein’ a daddy. Ya want so much…”

Jack’s answer was just as intense. “Yeah, I want everything. But, I’m willin’ ta give you everything…”

It was just more of Jack’s confounding ideas and strange ways. His damnable stubbornness and loyalty. “Why?”

Now Jack smirked at Ennis. “Wish I knew.”

Ennis’ fingers dug into Jack’s flesh. He looked into Jack’s eyes, trying to see something he couldn’t even name. “I’m not worth it.”

Jack gave Ennis’ head a little shake. “Don’t care…”

Ennis sounded like he was in pain. “I’m still married… got kids ta take care of…”

This wasn’t a smart place for this discussion, but sometimes when they were around each other this thing they shared got a hold of them both. It would smother any common sense and even Ennis’ fear.

Jack tried to make him understand he wasn’t leaving. “None of that would ever make me stop needin’ ya…”

A sob tore from Ennis throat and Jack pulled him into his arms. He pulled Ennis around the corner of the barn, which would shield them from the house. Ennis was clawing at him and pulling him tighter. Jack wanted to tell him that it was going to be alright, but the words wouldn’t come out of his mouth.

“We can’t fight this thing, Ennis,” Jack begged him. “We fight it, it’ll jus’ hurt us ‘n’ others more.”

Ennis had buried his head against Jack’s neck. “I lied when I said ya done this ta me… I did this. I did all of it.”

Jack just held Ennis tighter. This meltdown had been a long time coming. The guilt, sorrow and shame could only be carried and denied by Ennis so long before they ate at him. “You’re sayin’ ya made me queer?”

“Maybe… blamed you for so long…” Ennis closed his eyes and leaned his weight against Jack. “But it’s not you. It’s me. I fucked up your life… Alma’s… the girls…”

“Ennis, you’re givin’ yourself an awful lot of power.”

“Huh?” Ennis mumbled. He kissed Jack just under his ear because right now he wanted to taste just a hint of him. It was about comfort and familiarity.

“We all made choices in this. Alma, too. She’s not blind.” Jack felt Ennis tense in his arms. “She had ta know ya don’t love her like other men love their wives. What we got… it so fuckin’ strong that it could fuckin’ destroy us or be the best thing we ever had… all at the same time. That’s what it’s meant ta be. She knew she didn’t have that ‘n’ she agreed ta marry you. She’s no innocent. The only ones here who are is the girls.”

Ennis was already starting to shut down. They had talked about things he didn’t want to talk or think about. He was confused and his head hurt. “I should go talk ta her…”

Jack didn’t want to talk about Alma, but there was no pretending she could be shoved aside. Since he came to Riverton, she had always been lurking and weighing down their relationship. He reckoned that Alma probably felt the same about him. Ennis was the focus of something they both wanted and it wore him out being that for both Jack and Alma.

Love made people do desperate and stupid things. Fear also drove people to embrace the same desperation and stupidity.

They moved so that their foreheads were touching. Close enough to be breathing in the same air. “What ya gonna tell her?”

“That it’s over.” Ennis promised this with his quiet intensity. “That she’s got to get her head on straight before she can see the girls again.”

Jack sighed with relief and part of him felt lighter. “She should stay with her folks. She’s a danger ta herself.”

“That’s somethin’ I gotta talk ta her ‘bout.”

“And what ‘bout a new place for us… new job?”

“Got no problem with a new job. Work is work.” Ennis was shifting on his feet and starting to collect himself again. He pushed back against Jack’s chest, giving himself a little more space. “Frank’s an asshole ta work for ‘n’ we both like Don. But movin’…” Truth was he didn’t want to go back to that house he rented with Alma. He couldn’t handle living there anymore. But the idea of living with Jack in town made him nervous. “Not gonna agree ta move no where until I see this new place. Got some other things ta think ‘bout.”

“Yeah, I reckon ya do.” Jack leaned in close one last time and kissed Ennis. It was slow and passionate. When he pulled away, he whispered to Ennis. “Ya think ‘bout how I’ve always been there for you. Think ‘bout our one shot.” Jack kissed Ennis again, but this time more quickly. “Then … then ya think ‘bout how the only real joy your wife’s brought ya is your girls.”

“I can’t talk ‘bout this no more.”

Jack caressed the side of Ennis face. “I know ya can’t. Don’t need ya, too. I know what I need ta know.”

END Part 4.


	5. Chapter 5

Ennis knocked on the front door of the Beers house. Even after he married Alma, Ennis had always felt the need to knock. He had never felt very welcome in the Beers home and sure as hell doubted he was welcome now.

Harry Beers opened the door and scowled at Ennis. "You got a lot of nerve showin’ your face here."

Ennis' expression tightened and he squinted at the rotund, balding man in front of him. He was every inch a daddy trying to protect his daughter, even if she was a grown woman. Ennis had some grudging respect for that because he was protecting his own girls.

"Came ta see Alma."

"She's not well."

"I know. Still gotta see her."

Harry sighed and looked tired. He opened the door, looking outside to see if any of the neighbours were around. This wasn't type of conversation he wanted overheard. Ennis stepped inside and Harry slammed the door. "My grandchildren?"

"Are fine." No matter how much his in-laws didn't like him, Ennis couldn't deny that they loved their grandchildren. "Don's wife is watchin' 'em for me."

"You should have called us."

"Hard ta do when she ripped the phone jack outta the wall."

Harry's face paled a little. "We called the doctor after we picked her up. Had to sedate her."

"Then ya know what I was dealin’ with. Wasn't gonna keep my girls around her like that."

"You left her in that state..."

Ennis knew he would face accusations and be blamed for her condition, but he couldn't take it. "Ya don't know what it was like, so don't ya dare judge me."

"She could have done herself more harm. It's bad enough the neighbours found her wanderin’ ‘round like some lunatic."

"She's not just any lunatic, she's the one I married. I had ta deal with her goddamn every day."

"Alma was a good, sweet girl before she married you..." The accusation was plain as day. Her father was blaming Ennis for Alma's condition and change. He was blaming him for her melt down and the danger she had put herself in.

Ennis hadn't wanted to leave Alma like that, but his first concern had been his girls. Ennis had also been scared of himself and needed to get away from her. His anger had been boiling that night and God help him, he had been terrified of what he might do. He wouldn't hit no wife of his, no matter how crazy or bitchy she was. He wasn't like his daddy.

But now that same awful temper reared its head and got the better of Ennis, over powering his reason. "Then ya should be happy ta know she won't have 'ta deal with me like that anymore!"

Harry just starred at Ennis for a moment. It was just starting to sink in that if Ennis left Alma, then they would become responsible for her. "Your vows said in sickness and in health."

"Not gonna say no more," Ennis mumbled. That wouldn't be the first marriage vow he had broken. "It’s between me 'n' your daughter."

Harry glanced nervously at the staircase as if someone would come down any minute. "As much as I hate it... she loves you."

Ennis glanced at the empty staircase. "Where's Alma?"

"Upstairs in her ol' room."

"Mrs. Beers with her?"

"No..." Harry looked up the stairs and his eyes lingered on the door to Alma's room. "Bernice's bedridden. Her heart couldn't handle this mess."

Ennis felt a twinge of sympathy for Alma's parents. Bernice had always been sickly after what her husband described as a "bad spell" a few years back. But his sympathy was tempered by the notion they might try to take his daughters. Ennis didn't say anything else to Harry, but turned his back on him and walked up the stairs.

In the hallway he passed black and white family portraits of the Beers family. Two mousey little girls starred back him. Alma and her sister. He could see a little of Junior in her Ma, but Junior’s personality came from her daddy. He knew that. She was daddy’s little girl.

++++++

“Ennis, you’d better tell me what’s been eatin’ at ya all day.” Jack took a long swig from his beer and considered his friend. Ennis had been moody all day at work and Jack didn’t want any of it tonight. Tonight was Friday which meant Ennis always stayed over on the pretence of drinking too much and a boy’s night out.

Ennis sighed and his shoulders slumped. “I knocked Alma up.”

Jack almost dropped his beer. “What?”

“Ya heard me.”

“But you’ve only been married three months…”

“It happens.” Ennis drained the rest of his beer and grabbed Jack’s, taking a long drink.

Jack grabbed his beer back and finished it. “Well, shit. I think we’re gonna need something stronger.” He felt sick about a constant reminder that Ennis slept with Alma, but the idea of a little Ennis running around made him want to laugh.

“Not even twenty yet ‘n’ I’m gonna be a daddy…”

Jack got up and grabbed a bottle of cheap whiskey. He unscrewed the top and swallowed until it burned. “You’re gonna be a daddy.” He flopped down next to Ennis on the couch and handed him the bottle.

Ennis drank until he coughed, then he wiped his mouth with his sleeve. “Ya angry at me?”

A part of him was. It was the part of Jack that was always angry at Ennis for being with Alma. “I’m jus’ worried I’m not gonna see ya as much.”

Ennis set the bottle of whiskey down and his hand came to lie cautiously on Jack’s shoulder. Jack knew how to read Ennis. When he hesitated to touch Jack like this, Jack knew it was because that fear had him in its grasp. Ennis was probably afraid Jack was going to run.

Ennis was looking at Jack and asked hesitantly. “One shot?”

Jack’s stomach dropped a little. “Yeah. One shot, cowboy.”

Ennis shifted closer and his touch became a caress. He leaned in even closer and kissed Jack’s neck, nuzzling softly. “I always wanted ta be a daddy…” It was a whispered confession. “Gonna call my son Junior.”

“A lil’ cowboy…” Jack could imagine a little boy with his daddy’s sorrowful eyes and blonde curls. The image didn’t make the reality hurt so much. “Could be a girl…”

“Nah…” Ennis chuckled a little, but still sounded nervous. “Gonna have me a son. Ennis Del Mar, Junior.”

“I’ll be around ta help. Babies can’t be that hard.” He kissed Ennis, trying to chase away both of their insecurities. “Ya know… now that she’s knocked up, when she turns ya down… and she will, you jus’ come ta me. I’ll take care of ya.”

++++++

In Alma’s bedroom he opened the door without knocking. On the walls were faded pictures cut out from magazines of Elvis Presley and John Wayne. Alma had always liked her bad boys and cowboys. These days she had been taken with Clint Eastwood. Ennis doubted as a husband he ever lived up to what Alma thought a cowboy should be. He took his hat off because she deserved that amount of respect.

Alma was awake, sitting in a chair and looking out the window. She didn't look at Ennis, but still seemed to know it was him. "Sayin' I'm sorry isn't enough, is it?"

"Never was when I said it." She never forgave him when he apologized for working late or when they couldn't pay all the bills on time. Alma never forgave him for having Jack as a best friend.

Alma didn't answer and the tense silence grew between them. What made it worse for Ennis was that she had never been crazy crazy. Not like the people they locked up. She just almost always seemed sad and not who she used to be. Alma seemed dragged down by her babies, instead of enlivened by them.

It was Ennis who spoke first. "Girls are okay." Still Alma didn't answer. Ennis nervously shuffled his feet. "Glad ta see you're okay."

And it wasn't a lie. He didn't want to see any harm come to Alma. Despite everything, he cared for her. That night he had locked the doors behind him and took all the keys to the house with him. He figured she would eventually crash, locked safely in the house. She must have climbed out a window or busted a lock.

Now Alma turned and considered him with red rimmed eyes. Her pupils were slightly unfocused from the sedative still in her system. "Don't wanna be like this."

Ennis' hands tightened on his hat. "Then stop."

Alma choked off a laugh and half sob. "That's what my mama told me last night. Told me to stop. Tried to smack some sense into me."

Bernice Beers was a quiet woman. Ennis had never heard her raise her voice and it was hard for him to imagine how angry she had been to lash out at her own daughter. Alma's harshest critic, with her silence rebuke and disapproving comments had always been her own mother. Alma never wanted any help, even though she needed it, because it came with criticism. Last night she had ripped out the phone cord when Ennis had threatened to call her parents.

A selfish part of Ennis was glad to see Alma being punished by having to return to her parent's home. That was the vindictive part of him that was tired of everything. But mostly he just felt pity for Alma now. She looked far older than her twenty years. Though dressed in an old pink night gown in her childhood room, she reminded Ennis of the seventeen year old girl he had married.

"Ya went too far last night..." Ennis told her.

Alma pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. "I didn't mean to."

"Like ya said... sayin' sorry isn't enough. Regrets don't cut it either." Thinking about his girls gave him the courage to find the words when he hated confrontation. He wouldn't let anyone, not even their own blood, hurt them. "Only thing that matters is actions. And until ya get your head screwed on straight, I'm not gonna let ya be around the girls."

Ennis wasn't sure how Alma would react. He had expected more tears and an angry outburst. The expression that crossed his wife's face was a sad resignation and she seemed almost relieved. "I do love 'em, but..."

Alma never finished her sentence. It tied Ennis' heart in knots, but he had learned a long time that love wasn't unconditional. Love had always come for him with demanding and painful conditions. He had just hoped to spare his daughters from that hard lesson.

"If ya had it to do all over again..."

"I didn't want this."

And Ennis knew that she didn't just mean her sickness. She had dreamed of a cowboy of her own. The reality of being knocked up at seventeen and married to a ranch hand wasn't very romantic. Among her regrets were two beautiful baby girls. Ennis might have a lot of regrets in life, but he wouldn't change what was. And he didn't hate Alma for speaking the truth, instead his pity for her grew.

Since leaving Jack and the girls at the Wroe's ranch, Ennis had been wondering if he should tell her he wanted to end their marriage. Alma's mental state was fragile. He didn't want to be responsible for any more pain or pushing her over the edge. But hearing this, he wondered if the freedom this decision offered her might be good for her.

"I want a divorce."

"Figured ya would." The statement was said with that same sad acceptance and relief. It just made him think she was more off her rocker because any normal mother, as far as he was concerned, would fight tooth and nail for their children. His own Ma would take a beating to spare her kids their father’s anger.

"If ya wanna stay in the house... maybe I can figure out a way ta keep payin' the rent for awhile?"

Alma shook her head. "My folks already told me I was comin' ta stay with them. Said they would get the doctor involved again if I said no."

That pretty much cinched the decision about where to live. "I'm movin'..." Ennis didn't miss the panicked look on Alma's face. She probably thought he was taking the girls and running. But he wasn't stupid and he knew how that would look to the law and divorce judge. "Not runnin' with the girls, jus' movin' out of the house. Stayin' in Riverton. Best get your folks to collect your things. I'll be takin' the girls stuff with me."

"My folks want the girls to..."

"They're stayin' with me," Ennis growled. He didn't care how helpless she looked. He wasn't going to leave this room without her understanding those girls weren't going to be taken from him. "Got an arrangement with Joyce Wroe ta watch ‘em when I'm at work. She's good with kids. They'll get fussed over 'n' get better care than they were gettin' from you." The last part was meant to hurt and he knew it did when Alma flinched. Ennis put his hat back on his head and tried to ignore her tears. "Cry all ya want, Alma, but ya came awful close ta hurtin' our babies last night. If I hadn't caught ya..." He choked on his own words thinking about the way he had caught Alma starting to shake Jenny, yelling at her to stop crying.

“I wouldn’t have!”

“Ya don’t know that!”

They watched each other. There wasn’t much else to say and they both knew it. It felt like a good bye, but both Ennis and Alma knew it wasn’t. They were husband and wife, tied together by the law and promises to each other, but even more so, by two little girls. Married too young and to the wrong person, there was no denying the mess they were now.

Alma sniffed and used her sleeve to mop at her running nose. “Jack’s movin’ in with you, isn’t he?”

Ennis was tired of hiding from her. “Yeah.”

“He can’t replace me…”

Ennis felt trapped in that moment. She knew. Alma could beg or blackmail with that knowledge. And two words cut through his panic. One shot. One shot now to do right by all of them. Because it would be wrong to go back with Alma, no matter if she threatened or said it was the best for the kids. Ennis had one shot to be a real man.

“I know he can’t.”

And it was true because no one else could be their Ma. But Jack wouldn’t be replacing Alma in Ennis’ heart. Jack had been there first.

Alma moved and stood up. “I could tell…”

Ennis moved quickly and was standing in front of her. In this moment he wanted to shut her up. He remembered how his old man had shut his Ma up. Instead he met her gaze and his voice was real low when he growled, “Ya think anyone would believe ya? They think you’re crazy.”

Tears started to openly fall down Alma’s cheeks. He hadn’t seen her afraid this afraid since his outburst at the Fourth of July fireworks.

“I know what it means!”

Ennis took another threatening step toward her. “Shut up, Alma.”

“Jack Twist. Jack Nasty!”

“I’ll only warn ya once. Don’t ever call him that again! And don’t ya dare threaten me or him.”

Alma collapsed into the chair. “You’re scaring me…”

“Good.” He crouched down in front of her and even though she flinched away, Ennis reached out and grasped her chin. “Ya scared me last night. Ya got no right ta judge with that ugly thing in your head ‘n’ heart. We both fucked up. Ya tell my secret ‘n’ I’ll tell yours… I’ll tell the sheriff, the divorce judge ‘n’ the doctor.” Alma looked petrified, but Ennis continued, “Ya tell ‘n’ they might believe ya… or… they won’t. Then I’ll take the girls ‘n’ you’ll never see them again.”

“Ennis, no…”

“Or, ya keep your mouth shut…” He let go of her chin and tapped the side of her head. “Ya keep your mouth shut ‘n’ if ya get your head on straight, then maybe ya can start ta see the girls again. Keep your mouth shut ‘n’ we’ll get divorced without everyone knowing our business. You’ll be rid of me ‘n’ have your freedom.”

“And he’ll have you…”

Ennis stood up and glared at her. He knew he was being a cold and cruel bastard, but he had to finish it. There was no turning back. He slipped off his wedding ring and put it into her slack hand. “Ya might be crazy, but you’re not stupid. Keep your mouth shut.”

END Part 5.


	6. Chapter 6

When Ennis got back to the Wroe Ranch all he wanted to do was see his baby girls and Jack. As he pulled into the yard he saw Jack chopping wood out front. Joyce was standing on the front porch with Jenny in her arms and Junior was terrorizing a nearby chicken.

"Daddy!" Junior shrieked happily and ran over with Joyce following close behind.

"Mornin', darlin'," Ennis greeted her with a smile and picked her up. "Ya been a good girl for Mrs. Wroe?"

"Uh huh." Junior nodded and pointed at the chicken. "Supper!"

Ennis’ brow crinkled a little in confusion. "Ya want chicken for supper?"

Joyce chuckled and bounced Jenny in her arms. "That's the name of the damn bird. Well... actually, all of the chickens. The turkeys are called Christmas Dinner. Dinner for short."

"Huh." Ennis kissed Junior's forehead and set her down when she kept pointing at the chicken. He looked over to see that Jack was still chopping wood. Despite the chill in the air, Jack had stripped down to his white undershirt and it was soaked through with sweat. Ennis nodded towards Jack. "He been at that for awhile?'

"Certainly has. I got enough firewood ta last me weeks now. Shit hit the fan while you were gone. Your father-in-law called Frank. The bastard fired you 'n' Jack. Donnie said Frank ‘n’ Jack had words. By the looks of Jack, he didn't like the words that Frank had ta say. Donnie ‘n’ Jack came back here within half an hour of when ya left."

"Huh." Ennis looked back just as Jack was taking a vicious swing at a thick piece of pine. "It alright if ya keep watchin' the girls?"

"Course I can. Would you 'n' Jack be able ta start here tomorrow mornin'?"

"Reckon we can." He scratched the back of his neck and glanced up at Jack again. Usually the other man did most of the talking for him. ''Gotta talk ta Jack."

Joyce wasn't a stupid woman and had noticed right away the lack of a wedding ring on Ennis' finger. "Nora wanted me ta tell ya that if ya wanna check that other house out, ya can whenever you want. Door's unlocked."

"Might do that."

"Well, I'll just be goin' back in the house now. Best not to keep the babies out in the cold." Ennis looked at Jenny to see she was wearing a little blue hat and wrapped in a baby blanket he didn't recognize. For a moment he thought it was odd considering the Wroe's didn't have any kids.

Ennis walked over to Jack and watched him put another block of pine onto the chopping block. There was so much to say, but Ennis had no way to know how to say it. He could tell Jack was fuming mad and probably some of that anger was rightly aimed at him because the man hadn't even looked up at him yet.

"Friend, we've got a house ta go look at." The axe in Jack's hand hesitated mid-swing and missed the log he was aiming for, digging into the ground. "Best be careful, Jack. Could loose toes that way."

Jack let go of the axe handle, letting it stand straight up where it had lodged into the ground. He took out a red bandana from the back of his pocket and wiped at his forehead. "Christ, Ennis..."

Ennis didn't like the unsure look on Jack's usually confident face. "Said I'd be back. And I am."

Now Jack looked a little nervous. "And?"

"And?" Ennis huffed. He kicked one of the chunks of wood lying on the ground. "Went ta visit my wife who's nuttier than a squirrel turd to tell her it's over. Ya can imagine how that went."

Jack wished he had been there. The vicious part of him wanted to see it end. He wanted to look Alma in the eyes and have her know he'd won. But the rational part knew that the game was far from over now.

Now he just had to tell Ennis what his friend needed to hear. "Proud of ya, cowboy."

Ennis made an embarrassed noise and looked down at his boots. "Ya deaf before? Said we got a house ta look at."

Jack grabbed his work shirt off a branch where he had hung it and started to slip it on. He knew exactly what Ennis was trying to say without having to commit to saying the words. It was over with Alma and he was willing to risk a life with Jack.

"I'm not deaf... jus' wasn't sure if I heard ya right. Thought for a moment it might be too good ta be true."

"Don't make me change my mind. Maybe I don't want no rodeo fuck-up around my girls."

There was no bite to Ennis' words, only the familiar teasing and jabs they exchanged. It was a strange comfort to have someone insult you, but the normally guarded man only ever shared this humour with Jack. It was a gift Jack appreciated even if no one else understood it.

Jack started to button his shirt, but made a point of taking longer than he had to. He hadn't missed Ennis’ quick glances at him when he was chopping wood. "I'll remember that when they're bawlin' at night."

Ennis butted his shoulder against Jack's. "Get in the truck, Jack Jack."

Jack actually rolled his eyes at the nickname. Junior had started calling him that and hadn't stopped. He just hoped like hell she grew out of it. As they got into his truck, he felt excited and scared. This was everything he had wanted and God help anyone who tried to take it away from him now.

++++++

“House don’t look right.” Ennis pronounced and tilted his head to the side. His eyes squinted and his lips thinned as he considered the house. "It tilts."

The house was bigger than the other one he rented with Alma. It was shielded from the road by a row of overgrown bushes and it possibly could have been painted yellow at one point, but it was hard to tell anymore. It was an old farm house with two ramshackle additions tacked onto the front. The main section had a distinctive lean to the right and the additions seemed to lean to the left.

"Not that much." Ennis was always too particular as far as Jack was concerned. He had always fussed with the tent up on Brokeback claiming that it never looked quite right. At least once a day Ennis would always move around the poles or fuss with the pegs. Jack wasn't going to let Ennis talk them out of this house even if it was tilted. It was the only option they had really. "It's big enough for the girls."

"Mmm hmm." Ennis agreed and now tilted his head to the left. "Bigger than your apartment for sure." His eyes now focused on the chimney. "Roof dips."

Jack ignored the faults Ennis was pointing out. It didn't matter what it was, Ennis could find fault in everything, unless it was a horse. Instead, Jack wanted Ennis to start thinking of this as a home. "We could get a swing set. The paddock out back's over grown but the fencing looks in decent shape. We could get some horses of our own 'n' maybe a pony for the girls when they get older."

Ennis was silent for a moment, but didn't look as sour at the mention of horses. "And maybe some chickens. Junior seems ta like those chickens."

Jack slapped Ennis on the back and grinned at him. "It's a roof over our heads, friend. Ours."

"Saggin' roof," Ennis muttered and shook his head. "Well, let's go check inside."

Just like Joyce had promised, the front door was unlocked. They entered right into the first room that housed the kitchen. On the kitchen table was a note taped to a tin. Ennis took the note off and before reading it peeked in the tin. He licked his lips when he saw what was inside. “Cherry cake…”

“Christ, Ennis, every woman in Riverton knows ya got a weakness for that.”

Ennis tore off a large chunk and stuffed it into his mouth. “Don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

“Do I have ‘ta bring up that church bake sale again, cowboy?” When he reached for a chunk, he didn’t miss that Ennis looked a little reluctant to share. Instead of a large chunk, Jack just stole a cherry and popped it into his mouth, sucking on it slowly. Ennis was watching his actions intently.

“Jus’ doin’ my part as a sinner ta support the local church.”

“By scooping up every cherry cake there?” Jack chuckled. He didn’t bring up the fact that Alma had been mighty peeved that Ennis had left her own peanut butter cookies to be bought by her daddy.

Ennis simply shrugged. “Like cherry cake ‘n’ Alma’s always turned out like a brick.”

Jack grabbed the note taped to the tope of the tin. “It’s from Nora. Says here some of the furniture’s ours if we want it. If not, we can trash it. It’s left from the last renters and they don’t want it. Says sorry at least three times for it bein’ so dirty.” Jack’s eyes continued to scan the note and then snickered. “Make that four. And crap…”

Ennis stopped from eating a second piece of cherry cake. “What?”

“She says the ol’ renters didn’t jus’ leave a table. They left a dog. Her words…” Jack coughed and raised his voice to do a terrible impression of an older woman. “Thought you should know there’s a dog that lives under the house. If he’s a nuisance, feel free to shoot him or leave out some poisoned meat. Albert left him alone because he keeps the rabbits away.”

“Didn’t see no dog when we came in.”

Jack tapped the floor with his boot. “‘Cause he lives under the house.”

Ennis shifted his weight and the floor boards creaked. “Floors kinda wonky, too.”

Jack rolled his eyes and set down the note. Ennis was always thinking the worst. “Rest of the note jus’ says we’re welcome to move in whenever we want ‘n’ ta call if we need any help. Then she apologized again for the filth.”

Ennis looked around and other than a fine film of dust on everything, it looked clean enough to him. “We’ll jus’ open the window ‘n’ that’ll blow the dust out.”

“Sounds ‘bout right ta me.” Jack scratched the back of his neck. “Let’s go check out the bedrooms…”

Ennis looked up from where he was considering the cherry cake. “We’re not, Jack.”

“Not that way…” Jack smirked. “Not ‘til we’re moved in at least.”

“Always thinkin’ with your dick,” Ennis grumbled fondly and he shoved at Jack’s shoulder playfully. They found a relatively level and sunny room off the kitchen covered in cheerful, flowery wall paper. Ennis smiled and ran his hand over the flowers, tracing some petals. “Girls like flowers.”

“They do like flowers.” Jack glanced out the window and saw it over looked the over grown paddock. “But Junior like horses more. Jus’ like her daddy.”

“If she wakes up at night, we could show her the horses… her pony ‘n’ I bet she’d go right back ta sleep.” He remembered when Junior was a fussy baby he would take her out riding because it was the only thing to calm her down when she had colic.

“Nah, I bet she’d beg ta go for a pony ride, even if it’s the middle of the night. And I bet you’d do it jus’ ‘cause she asked for it.”

“Now why would I do that?”

Jack just chuckled. “’Cause you’d do anything for your girls, friend.”

++++++

Alma had gone into labour early on a Friday night. Their weekly boy’s night out had moved to Ennis’ place during the last month because Ennis didn’t want to be away from his wife in case she needed him. So Jack always spent every Friday night sleeping on their couch. He had woken up to a dazed Ennis stumbling out in the living room and looking panicked.

“Baby’s comin’,” Ennis had mumbled. He looked scared and Jack hadn’t blamed him. At that moment there was a dead realization that this was suddenly all too real. Alma was barely eighteen and calling for he mama in the other room. Ennis was twenty and trying to be a man, but looking at Jack very much like a terrified boy.

There was no one to turn to but each other then. Alma’s parents were out of state with Alma’s sister because she had fallen down the stairs. He wasn’t sure how they had made it to the hospital, but they had. Ennis was busy with Alma until the nurses took over at the hospital and shooed him away.

“Fathers wait in the hall,” the nurse had told him as they wheeled Alma away.

Three hours later the doctor had come out and smacked Ennis on the shoulder. “You’re the proud papa of a healthy baby girl.”

The doctor had walked away chuckling at Ennis who was frozen in the hallway. Ennis had looked up at Jack with an expression that was a mixture of shock, fear, and pride. “I’m a daddy, Jack.”

Jack had to guide Ennis back to a chair before the other man fell down. Once Ennis was sitting down, Jack put his hand on Ennis’ shoulder and leaned in close to whisper, “It’s alright... It’s alright…”

Jack wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but eventually a nurse had come out and told them that Alma was sleeping with as she put it, ‘a little help from the doctor.’ The nurse had smiled at Ennis and told them the baby was in the nursery.

Now Ennis was pacing in the hallway again, eyes darting around the corner occasionally.

“She’s not gonna bite, Ennis,” Jack sighed. “Tiny babies don’t have teeth. Gotta see her sometime.”

Ennis stopped pacing and glared at Jack. “A girl? What am I supposed to do with a girl, Jack?”

“Keep the boys away from her?”

“Shut up,” Ennis grumbled. He sighed and poked his head around the corner again. Just a few feet away was the nursery window he had yet to look into. “Don’t know what to do with a girl. Always wanted a son.”

Women had always been a mystery to him. Jack barely understood his own Mama, but he still wanted to comfort Ennis. “Ya got a sister… can’t be so bad.”

“Sister ain’t no daughter.”

“Was jus’ tryin’ ta help.”

“Don’t think nothin’ could help.” Ennis stuffed his hands into his pockets and his shoulders slumped. “Was gonna show ‘im how ta rope… ta ride. Got used ta the idea of a son.”

Jack had to admit that he pictured a little Ennis running around. He had even bought a stuffed horse he had hidden back at his apartment. “But ya got a girl.”

“I’m a daddy…”

“Yeah, you are. So let’s go see her.”

Ennis sighed heavily and nodded. With Jack’s hand still on his shoulder they went around the corner with Ennis telling himself he would do right by his daughter. Wasn’t her fault she wasn’t a boy. They stood in front of the nursery and only one of the beds was filled. His baby girl was the only baby in the small town hospital. The little bassinet was clearly marked ‘Baby Girl Del Mar’. All they could see was a pink blanket and tiny hat.

The nursery nurse smiled at them and walked over to pick up the baby. She held up Ennis’ daughter and pulled back the blanket to give them a clear view of the reddish puffy cheeks and dark brown hair. The baby started to bawl and her face scrunched up, becoming redder.

Ennis had never seen anything more beautiful in his life. “Lil’ darlin’…” he murmured and his hand came up to press against the window. The nurse smiled knowingly and moved her closer to the window.

In that moment Ennis wasn’t sure why he had ever wanted a son. He turned to Jack and smiled like a fool. “That’s my baby girl, Jack.”

Jack was busy falling in love for the first time with someone of the female persuasion himself. “She’s awful pretty. Got your eyes.”

Ennis smiled at Jack with flushed embarrassment and pride. He tapped on the glass and wiggled his fingers at the baby. “That’s my Junior.”

“Can’t call her Junior if she’s a girl…”

“’Course I can,” Ennis insisted. “She’s my first born.”

Jack heard how Ennis said that with pride. If Ennis wanted to call a girl ‘Junior’ then Jack would call her Junior, too. He waved at the bawling baby and whispered, “Howdy, Junior Del Mar.”

The nurse watching the men make fools of themselves and had no doubt that this baby girl had two men wrapped around her tiny finger.

++++++

The side of Ennis’ mouth twitched into an embarrassed half smile. He couldn’t deny he would do anything for his girls. “You’re the one who spoils ‘em.”

“I do not…” Jack denied immediately even though they both knew he spoiled Junior rotten. He would have spoiled Jenny, he just hadn’t figured out how to spoil a small baby yet other than making goofy faces at her to make her laugh.

“Junior hauls around that stuffed pony ya gave her everywhere…”

“Ya mean, Mr. Ed,” Jack said before he realized how silly he sounded knowing the name of Junior’s favourite toy. He gave Ennis a sheepish smile. “Let’s go ‘n’ take a look at the rest of the house.”

They found a small living room and mostly working bathroom. The toilet didn’t match the bathtub and the sink dripped, but they both figured they could fix that. Behind a door and up a narrow, steep stairway they found two more bedrooms. One was barely large enough to be called a bedroom since it could barely hold a single bed and dresser.

“This one’ll be mine.” Jack motioned at the tiny room. When Ennis gave him an odd look, he clarified, “Gotta have my own room for appearances sake. Ya know damn well we’re sharin’ one bed.”

“The girls…”

“Can sleep downstairs ‘n’ share that pretty room. Those flowers would keep me up at night.”

Ennis’ stomach did a little flip when he thought about sharing a bed with Jack every night. He liked that idea a lot, but fear was still niggling at him. If they were going to live together, he had to set some ground rules down for Jack. “Their babies now Jack… but some day soon, they’re gonna big enough ta figure stuff out…”

Jack’s eyes narrowed and he stalked towards Ennis. He poked his finger into Ennis’ chest. “Ya got a problem ‘bout your girls knowin’ ‘bout us? After we got this far?”

“Kids got big mouths,” Ennis blurted out. “If they let somethin’ slip all innocent like… I could loose you.”

The anger receded from Jack. Ennis wasn’t ashamed of the girls finding out. He was afraid of their open nature endangering their secret. Jack’s hands moved up to cup Ennis’ face and his thumb caressed his cheeks. “We’ll be real careful, cowboy. I’m not pretendin’ what we’re gonna do isn’t dangerous.”

“We gotta hide in our own house…”

“Don’t think of it as hidin’, Ennis,” Jack assured him. They had always been private and that wasn’t about to change. “Ya never felt up Alma in front of the girls or no one else, so why would ya do different with me?”

Ennis snorted and gave Jack a heated look. “’Cause ya make me crazy like no one else. There’s times that the only thing that stops me from kissin’ ‘n’ holdin’ ya wherever I want is the fear of the tire irons.”

“We’ll keep it hidden,” Jack promised and kissed Ennis. “We’ll be careful.”

Jack kissed Ennis again softly and then pulled away.

“We have to be,” Ennis said. Ennis felt vulnerable and he hated that feeling. He stepped away from Jack because he needed the space to pull himself back together. “This thing between us is like a goddamn bronco… wild ‘n’ outta control.”

“Don’t forget fierce, strong ‘n’ free…” Jack stopped when Ennis gave him a warning look. It was the look that Ennis gave him when he was worked up and didn’t want to be. “It’ll be okay. We’ll get a lock for the door leading upstairs. We’ll lock it at night.”

Ennis looked a little more hopeful. “That could work.”

“Not could, will work. It’s not gonna be easy, Ennis, but nothin’ really worth it is.”

END Part 6.


	7. Chapter 7

The dog's howl rang through the house even before Ennis heard the vehicle coming down the drive.

Jack slammed his boot down on the floor boards. "Shut up, Roger!"

The dog kept howling and now Junior was clapping her tiny hands together. She mimicked Jack and tapped her foot on the floor. "Puppy! Puppy!"

Ennis just grinned and shook his head. "We want the mutt doin' that. That way we know someone's comin'."

"Better than a goddamn doorbell," Jack grumbled even as the howling had switched to short yips. He had to admit no one would be sneaking up on them with that dog under the house. "And why are we callin' the dog 'Roger' again?"

Ennis just shrugged his shoulders. "Good a name as anythin'. First thing that came ta mind."

Jack pushed the sun faded curtain aside to see the sheriff’s car pulling into the yard. "Shit, Ennis. The sheriff’s here."

Panic and rage grabbed hold of Ennis. His gaze was drawn to the shot gun rack, but a quick shake of his head overcame that monumentally stupid idea. "Knew this would happen."

Jack could read Ennis' expression and guarded body language like an open book. Jack wasn't about to loose everything he wanted just when he just got it. He moved between the gun rack and Ennis. "Let me go out 'n' do the talkin'."

"No," Ennis shook his head. "We're goin' out there together. Not trusting the law right now."

"The girls?"

"We'll bring 'em with us." Ennis picked up Jenny from the bassinet resting on the kitchen table. "Gotta show 'em we got nothin' ta hide. If he goes ta try 'n' take 'em..."

Ennis hated conflict and would avoid it almost at any cost, but when he was pushed, he would lash out with that nasty temper. The dark look on Ennis' face sent a shiver down Jack's spine. He had no doubt that Ennis would do anything to protect those babies.

"It won't come ta that," Jack assured him and scooped up Junior. "You're not in the wrong here."

Ennis wrapped Jenny tight in a baby blanket. "Keep Junior with you."

Jack wrapped his jacket around Junior, not having enough time to fuss with her little coat. They went out the kitchen door and stepped into the yard just as the sheriff was getting out of the car. No one else was in the car and that reassured Jack a little. He knew the sheriff would never try to take the girls from Ennis without someone else there as back up.

"Evenin', Ennis," the sheriff drawled out with a tip of his hat. "Jack."

Riverton was small enough that the older man knew who they were on a first name basis. He had made it his business to make sure they knew who he was when they both came to Riverton.

"Sheriff Wymer," Ennis greeted back in a tight voice. "Ya here for a reason?"

"Mmm, maybe." Sheriff Wymer slammed the car door leaned on the hood of the cruiser. "Makin' my rounds." Neither Ennis or Jack reacted to the comment and the sheriff made a point of looking over to the house. "See you're rentin' another place from Albert 'n' Nora."

Ennis shifted nervously. When Jenny fussed, he gave her his knuckle to suck and chew on. "Yep."

The sheriff turned to consider Jack. "So, you moved out here to, huh?"

Jack took his cue from Ennis and answered with one word. "Yep."

"Is there somethin' we can do for ya, Sheriff?" Ennis asked with a barely hidden scowl.

"Well, see now that ya mention it, ya certainly can." The man took off his sun glasses and slipped them into his pocket. He was every inch one of the good ol' boys. "I got a phone call from my good friend, Harry Beers. Told me some very interesting things."

Ennis tensed and his expression darkened even more. "That so?"

"'Fraid so. Says his grandbabies was bein' kept from their Mama. That you'd up 'n' moved leavin' your wife at her daddy's place. He was awful concerned 'bout his these girls." The sheriff turned his gaze back to Jack. "Harry was also concerned 'bout other bad influences."

"Don't want no trouble." Ennis made himself met the sheriff's gaze even though he wanted to look away. "Never had no cause to have a problem with the law, but ya come ta my home... threaten my family..."

"Whoa now, boy, you'd best stop before ya say somethin' we all regret. I told Harry he didn't want to get the law involved. That this is the best kinda business best handled in the family. But he's a friend, so as a friend, I'm gettin' involved in a friendly manner... for now."

"Friendly?" Jack huffed under his breath. "I bet. You're ol' buds with Alma's ol' man. You're not gonna listen ta anythin' we got to say."

"See now, Jack, you're wrong there." The sheriff smiled at Jack with the smile of a man who liked his power, but liked to think he had integrity even more. "Harry's a friend, but I'm still the law around these parts. I came out ta hear your side, but ya gotta see it from my point of view, too. I'd say he's gotta a right to be concerned. You got quite a reputation runnin' fast 'n' loose with the ladies. Not a good influence for kids..."

"Jack's givin' that up," Ennis growled. His glare at Jack spoke of a deep jealousy. Jack hoped as hell the sheriff was too ignorant to figure it out.

The sheriff's booming laugh caught them both off guard. "I ain't known him long, but I doubt I'll live ta see the day Jack Twist stops flirtin’ with every pretty lady in town... hell, ya even charm the ol' grey hairs."

Jack decided to use the situation to his advantage. He would just have to deal with Ennis' jealousy later. He would much rather the sheriff be concerned because he had the reputation of a tom cat than as a queer. Jack flashed a smug grin at the older man. "Well, sheriff, I can't help it if I'm a popular man. Truth is, doubt I'll ever settle down... too many pretty ladies to choose from." Jack could all but feel Ennis hissing with anger, but the sheriff chuckled at the statement and that's what they needed. "But Ennis' girls are my goddaughters. Like my own blood... so is Ennis. Family of my own choosin'. I can assure ya that I won't be bringing no ladies round here."

The sheriff looked a little more pleased at Jack's statement. "That doesn't answer the lil' problem I have naggin’ me of why you're both keepin' Alma's girls away from her."

Ennis bit his lip and bounced Jenny in his arms. He was sure the sheriff had already heard all manner of gossip. Ennis supposed that he could just blame it all on Alma and paint her to be the devil. That was probably the smart thing to do and try to get the sheriff on his side. But it didn't feel right.

"Alma isn't well," Ennis mumbled. "Not right in the head."

"Huh," Sheriff Wymer pursed his lips, blowing into his moustache. "That all ya gotta say, son?"

"She's not well 'n' it's my duty as their daddy ta keep them safe..." Ennis's words died off. He didn't like the intense stare of the older man. He just knew the sheriff was judging him, thinking he was a bad husband and father. "I ain't ever hit Alma."

"No, but we all know you've got a temper bad as a rattlesnake. I remember the July fourth picnic. And that bar fight year or so back..."

"Never hit my wife," Ennis growled out. "Will never hit my daughters."

"Alma never said ya did." The sheriff came around the car and stood several feet away, looking at the girls. "Fact is, I never saw her. Harry said she was havin' a bad spell 'n' blamed it on you."

"Now, you jus' listen here," Jack snapped. Ennis was already carrying enough guilt and responsibility over Alma. Jack wasn't going to stand by and let anyone accuse Ennis of something that wasn't his fault. "Ennis isn't responsible for Alma's mind snappin' 'n' you know the Beers well enough ta know it's been happenin' for a while. Don't you, or anyone else, be layin' this at Ennis' feet."

"Jack..." Ennis hissed in warning.

"No, Ennis, he needs ta hear this ‘n’ if ya won't tell 'im, then I will. Alma's nuts. She'd could easily harm herself or the girls. So, don't ya bein' judging Ennis for doin' what's right. Harry Beers can go..."

"Jack!" Ennis yelled, cutting him off. "Sheriff, he didn't mean..."

The older man raised his hand and huffed, "He meant it. And I'm glad ta hear it. Harry tried convincing me you'd be gettin' ready ta take off with the girls. That neither of ya really cared 'bout them, but were jus' using them ta hurt Alma. Figure if ya both can get riled up like this, at least it shows you're not doin' this as some cruel joke. And Alma's hasn't been right for awhile now. My own wife's said as much." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his sunglasses, pushing them back on. "Ya are plannin' ta stick around, right?"

Ennis tucked Jenny against his chest, shielding her from the wind and the sheriff’s gaze. "Yeah."

"Uh huh. And how ya plannin' on supportin' your girls? Hear ya both lost your jobs."

"We both got hired on with Don Wroe," Jack answered. This man clearly made a point of knowing everyone's business. If they volunteered information, then they would look like they had nothing to hide. "Joyce is watchin' the girls during the day."

At the mention of Joyce Wroe, the sheriff let out a low whistle. "Christ, you boys got Joyce involved in this mess? No wonder Harry's pissed off." At Ennis and Jack's confused and worried looks, the sheriff explained, "Her family 'n' the Beers have history."

Ennis' brow wrinkled. "None of our business."

"Oh, it matters, boy. Matters a lot in town as small as Riverton. Hurts run deep 'n' memories don't fade. But I suppose ya both wouldn't know that... bein' new ta town. I'm gonna tell ya some stuff for your own good. Stuff that ya never heard from me, but I reckon ya need ta know."

"We'd appreciate it, sir." Jack knew he added the 'sir' for a reason when he saw the sheriff’s chest puff up a little. He wasn't averse to showing some respect if it got them want they wanted.

"I'm a fair man, boys. Harry might be an ol' friend, but that doesn't mean I don't know he can be an ass sometimes. And if he hadn't been an ass some years back, then his life would be a whole lot easier. Now, if ya tell anyone I told ya this... I'll deny it."

"Of course, sir," Jack assured him. "Don't know where we heard what we're 'bout ta hear."

Sheriff Wymer nodded and cleared his throat. He lowered his voice even though the only thing around that might hear them was the dog under the house. "Many years back Harry had a wandering eye... still might. Even with a ring around his finger 'n' two daughters, Harry took a fancy to Joyce's cousin Renny. Knocked her up. Quite the scandal." The sheriff smirk showed that he took some satisfaction in sharing the old rumours that he knew were fact. He was a worse gossip than the old church ladies. "Joyce 'n' Don couldn't have any kids, so they adopted Renny's son."

"They ain't got no kids," Ennis stated the fact that he had always known as true.

"Not now. No." The smile disappeared off of the sheriff’s face. "Poor thing died. Joyce says she put him down in the crib one night 'n' then the baby never woke up. Broke her heart."

Ennis held Jenny tighter at the mention of a dead baby. Now the little blue cap she was still wearing made sense. It had belonged to the son Joyce had lost.

Jack hugged Junior a little tighter as well. "That's a shame."

"Damn right it is. But it's also a damn shame what happened next. Bernice was the laughin' stock of town with her Harry steppin' out on her. At the baby's funeral, she came up ta Joyce 'n' Renny... told 'em the baby died 'cause it was conceived in sin."

"Shit..." Jack hissed under his breath.

Just then Junior promptly repeated after Jack, "Shit... Shit!"

"Yeah... lot of bad blood there." The sheriff moved closer to Junior and even though Ennis tensed, he didn't stop. He chucked Junior under the chin. "That's a bad word, sweetheart." He fixed Jack with a stare. "You're gonna have 'ta learn ta watch your language, boy. Figure you're not ready for the change your life's in for. Normally on Friday's you boys are down at the bar 'n' then sleep it off at Jack's place. Ain't gonna be anymore of that."

Junior reacted to the attention by pulling away shyly and burying her face against Jack's neck. "Jack Jack..." she whispered with a quivering lip.

"S'alright... s'alright..." Jack crooned the same words that always calmed her father.

"Mmm, maybe ya got some hope after all," Sheriff Mymer chuckled. He sauntered over to Ennis and peaked at Jenny in the blanket like he had ever right to. "Ennis, I'll be keepin' an eye on ya. Noticed you're not wearin' your wedding ring."

"My business," Ennis mumbled and pulled Jenny tighter against his chest.

Sheriff Mymer looked Ennis square in the eye, whispering low, "She break your heart?"

Maybe he'd been around Jack too long, but he saw the opening and had to take it to keep their secret. If he told the Sheriff, he was sure his business would be all over town in no matter of time. Normally he’d hate that, but he’d bite the bullet for his girls. He'd tell the man the truth and if he read something different from it, then so be it. "Don't think I ever wanna get married again."

"Hmm. Well, sometimes women are more trouble than they're worth." The sheriff patted Ennis on the arm. It came off more condescending than sympathetic. "You're young yet, son. Now jus' some more friendly advice. I suggest ya make sure the Beers see these girls real regular like. At least twice a week would be real nice. Way I figure it, there's no reason ta get the courts involved." He stepped away from Ennis. "Already talked ta my missus 'n' she loves babies. Wouldn't mind watchin' over the girls on Mondays and Fridays while you’re at work… no cost. And if Alma 'n' her grandparents wanna drop by, that'd be convenient for everyone. She’d always have company around while she was visitin’ her babies.”

“How’d I know ya won’t turn over Junior ‘n’ Jenny ta the Beers?”

“Trust. Jus’ like I’m gonna trust that you’re not gonna go back on your word ‘n’ disappear with ‘em. This arrangement would also give Joyce Wroe a break ‘n’ time ta get work done at their spread." The sheriff’s eyes settled on Jenny again. “And most important of all. I’m a daddy myself.”

“I got a choice?” Ennis asked, his lips drawing into a thin line.

“Of course ya do. We always got choices. Jus’ some choices are better than others. Think ‘bout it ‘n’ give me a call. But I’d advise not waitin’ too long. As the law around here I never learned patience.” Sheriff Wymer walked around to the driver’s side of his cruiser. “I’ll be seein’ you boys again soon.”

Ennis and Jack watched the car as it tore down the driveway, snow flying from the wheels.

Jack was the first to speak. “There’s no words I can say in front of the girls that explain how I’m feelin’ right now.”

“Don’t like ‘im.”

“Neither do I,” Jack agreed. His hand was running over Junior’s fine baby hair. “Frightened Junior. But he’s the law.”

“Don’t like the law.” Ennis turned and went back into the house.

Jack followed behind him and closed the door with a slam. “What are we gonna do?”

“Don’t have much choice.” Jenny was starting to get fussy, so he put her over his shoulder and patted her back. Ennis made a face and sighed when she threw up after she burped. “Damn, that was my last clean shirt.”

“Ya can borrow one of mine.” When Ennis scrunched his nose up, Jack just snorted and shook his head. “Not one of the one ya call flashy. I got plain ones.” Of course to Ennis anything other than white and maybe light blue were “flashy”. But for all his teasing, Ennis always like it when Jack wore his red shirt. “And as much as I don’t like that man, he seems ta be negotiating the peace.”

Ennis knew it would look better when they came in front of the judge if he cooperated with the sheriff. And deep down, he never wanted to take the girls away from their Mama completely. He just wanted to keep them safe. “My ol’ man used ta say, ‘If ya can't fix it, you've got to stand it’. Might be willin’ ta try this since I can’t fix her squirrelly head ‘n’ bastard of a daddy. Someone would be watchin’ Alma with the girls.”

“Mrs. Wymer seems decent enough,” Jack tried to assure Ennis. “Brought me some cupcakes once.”

“Jack…” Ennis growled and stalked closer with Jenny still in his arms. “Ya been flirtin’ with the sheriff’s wife?”

Jack smirked at Ennis. He wanted to make Ennis smile instead of worry, even if for a moment. The truth was he enjoyed flirting with the older women because it was fun. It made them smile and they were harmless. His efforts usually ended up with some sort of baked goods wandering his way. “Did I mention they were chocolate cupcakes?”

Ennis didn’t really mind when Jack flirted with the older women, but he would never let Jack know that. It was part of who his friend was. And he would rather have Jack flirt with old ladies than another cowboy. What really got under his skin were the pretty girls at the bars and the single women around town looking for a husband. They all looked at Jack like he was a steak and they hadn’t eaten in a month. Jack was his now in every way possible and he didn’t share.

Ennis licked his lips and squinted at Jack. “Chocolate, huh?”

“Ya like chocolate.”

“Screw the cupcakes,” Ennis huffed. “Charm this one as much as ya can. We want her on our side.”

“Why Ennis Del Mar, you’re startin’ ta sound all cunning.”

“Don’t care what ya call it. After hearin’ this fu-“ Ennis stopped and looked at Junior who was staring at him from Jack’s arms. “Messed up stories ‘bout these folks, we need all the help we can get.”

“Friend, that’s an understatement…”

END Part 7.


	8. Chapter 8

Alma’s mother had taught her that a good woman always put other’s needs before her own. A Godly woman was humble and quiet. At Thanksgiving and Christmas, she watched all of the women in the family work hard in the kitchen and, without thought, served the men first. Each night she watched her mother eat last after filling the plates of her husband and daughters. Her father was always given the largest piece of apple pie even though Alma knew that was her mother’s favourite. To do anything less was being a bad wife and mother.

Alma had tried with Ennis. She catered to him at first and knew he expected it. She knew damn well that the boy she fell in love with expected a quiet and passive wife. When she was that perfect woman everyone expected her to be, Ennis seemed surer of himself. The nervousness and oppressive uncertainty that seemed to swarm around Ennis would disappear for a while. It was like he didn’t know who he should be, but when he was around Alma, it was easier for him to slip on the mask of normalcy. If she was lucky, she could draw one of those rare smiles from the boy.

One of the reasons she had been drawn to Ennis in the first place was simply because he seemed just as lost in the world as she was. She thought it would all become real if they pretended together long enough. Or at least she had been able to do that before Brokeback Mountain. Then Ennis had returned to Riverton with Jack Twist. Jack Nasty.

Those rare smiles were suddenly only saved for Jack and their baby girls. It had eaten her up inside. Ennis played the role of husband, but Alma grew to believe it was more out of duty than any real sense of love for her. He tolerated her whims when she was pregnant with Alma Junior. He would do whatever she asked with a quiet nod, but never doted on her like some husbands.

As she watched her stomach grow during that first pregnancy, her own self-doubt had grown. She hadn’t even graduated high school and here she was going to be a mama. When she cried, Ennis would hold her and tell her it would be okay. She hated him for believing that it would all come naturally to her. Like she was born knowing how to stop a baby from screaming through the night or how to find the lost bootie Junior kept kicking off.

When she got pregnant with Jenny, she panicked and cried to her own mother. She had barely figured out how to cope with Junior and there was another baby on the way. Alma was always so tired. Her mother had just told her she would learn how to cope and to thank the Lord for her blessings.

A husband and two baby girls. What more could she want?

But the walls of that isolated rented house seemed to close in on her. When Ennis left before sunrise to work there was nothing but a screaming baby and the wind whipping on the lonely Wyoming landscape to keep her company. As Jenny grew inside her, she couldn’t help but resent the unborn baby and even Junior. With each resentful thought, she felt like a terrible mother.

Some days Junior’s smile would pull her spirits up. Some days Ennis would do something sweet or shy and remind her why she wanted that cowboy. But then there were days that the sorrow swallowed her up whole. Days where her world seemed small and terrifying.

One day will always stick in her mind.

+++++

Ennis had been working a tough ten day stretch with fourteen hour days. Junior was crying non-stop and would only stop fussing if Ennis held her. The house was hot and cooking worse than a turkey roaster. The sun was still high in the sky, denying them the coolness of the night. Alma had heaved herself out of the chair, dress plastered to her body with sweat.

She grabbed a screaming Junior and shoved her at Ennis. “You’re her daddy. Take her.”

Ennis had taken her in one arm and thrown down his filthy work gloves on the kitchen table. “Damn it, Alma. I just…”

“Make her stop cryin’, Ennis!”

There was a fight bubbling up between the two of them. Each weary and cross. Just as Ennis was getting worked up for one of his hissed warnings, Jack came in through the door. He didn’t even look at Alma. Instead Jack focused on Junior and Ennis. He went to them, not even daring to take the baby from Ennis.

Ennis looked down right foul, but his gaze focused on Jack. His friend’s hand came to lie on Junior’s forehead. “She’s heated up, Ennis. No wonder she’s cryin’.” He settled his hand on Ennis’ back and gave him a gentle push towards the door. “Why don’t ya go lay down in the bed of the truck? I pulled it into the shade behind the barn. There’s a bit of a breeze comin’ up.”

“Don’t know…” But Ennis was already moving towards the door, his feet dragging just a bit.

Jack kept his hand on Ennis’ back and looked at Alma. “Gettin’ all excited ‘n’ over heated can’t be good for the baby. Why don’t ya have a glass of water and lay down, Alma?” The tone was friendly enough, but she knew otherwise.

She turned and left the room without a word to either of them. Alma had two cigarettes to calm her nerves sitting on the edge of the bed and willing herself not to cry. When she stubbed out the second cigarette, she got up and peaked out the window. Ennis had taken his shirt off and balled it into a makeshift pillow. He was lying in the bed of the pickup, napping away on his back with Junior sleeping on his chest.

Jack was sitting up in the bed, his back resting against the side and knees pulled up to his chest. His shirt was pulled off and chest glistening with sweat. Jack’s eyes kept drooping, but he fought it. Alma saw that Jack was completely focused on Ennis and Junior. He was keeping watch over them.

As if he knew Alma was watching them, Jack looked up. The smile he gave Alma made her hate him even more that day.

++++++

Now Alma watched Junior playing with her stuffed horse. It was a toy Jack had given her. The sheriff’s wife was watching her. Judging her.

Alma tried to picture what her life could have been if she had stayed with Ennis if she hadn’t been crazy. She would still be stuck out in that lonely house with two little girls. Ennis would want more babies, trying for that son he wanted. In a few years, she would be trying to feed too many mouths on Ennis’ meagre pay. Every day would be harsh and forlorn.

She let her mind wander away from that ‘what if’. It wasn’t a possibility anymore. Instead she tried to think about what could happen if she got better. If her parents got their way, she would move back to their house with girls in tow. She would have to get a job to support herself as a divorced mother. The imagined looks of pity were enough to make her shiver. She couldn’t imagine any good man wanting to take her on with the baggage of a ready-made family.

Alma let her mind drift again to another ‘what if’. When she had been a little girl, no one asked her what she wanted to be. They just said, “You want to be a mommy, don’t you?” She had smiled and nodded, continuing to play with her baby dolls. But when she was a little older, she thought about something else. Nothing too grand. Just maybe working in a store somewhere bigger than Riverton. Selling pretty flowers, or maybe books. Someplace she could see a fancy play if she saved up, or a show that wasn’t at the drive-in. Even the idea of riding a city bus seemed exciting. The idea of meeting someone and not knowing them was novel. The concept of privacy was alluring. Alma never dreamed big, but she had dreamed. She was just too scared to run off.

There was another tempting dark ‘what if’. One that called to her in her weaker moments. Eternal silence. No one judging her. No more pain.

Alma tried to focus on the girls again. The sheriff’s wife and her own Ma were watching her. Alma plastered on what she hoped was a real smile. She climbed down onto the floor and petted Junior’s toy.

“Is this a horse, Junior?”

“Horsey!” Junior babbled back with delight at getting her mother’s attention. “Horsey!”

Alma caressed Junior’s fine hair. “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“Oh, Alma,” her mother laughed. “She’s far too young to understand you.”

“Horsey!” Junior squealed and moved the toy up and down in a pretend gallop. “Giddy’up!”

“It can’t hurt to ask her,” Alma said and leaned in to kiss Junior on the forehead. “I bet ya wanna be a cowgirl, huh? Jus’ like your daddy.” Her voice was sad and soft. “Damn strong Del Mar blood.”

“Don’t be silly,” Alma’s mother tutted. “Junior’s a good girl. She wants to be a mommy, don’t you sweetie?”

Junior only understood the word mommy and pointed to Alma. “Mama!”

The older women smiled and clapped, calling her a smart girl. Alma just sighed and looked away.

++++++

Brown eyes burrowed deep into Jack's soul. He had never been able to resist them. Those eyes said so much when their owner could or would not.

"Oh, don't start with me..." Jack begged with a long sigh.

His plea was only met with another glare. Those damnable brown eyes were watching him pace. Back and forth, they followed each of his movements carefully.

"Do ya want me ta beg? 'Cause I'll beg if that's what it takes."

"Ya can beg all ya want, rodeo, but it's not gonna work."

Jack's face took on a stubborn set to it and he looked back over his shoulder at Ennis. "I'll get what I want."

"Uh huh." Ennis walked over and plucked at the green, slimy spot on Jack's shirt. "Looks like she's winnin’ ta me."

They both turned and looked at Junior who was sitting in her high chair, glaring at both of them now. In moments like this, Jack almost wished she didn't have her daddy's eyes and quiet stubbornness. A bowl was half filled with strained peas, sitting on her high chair.

"Jenny's down for a nap 'n' Junior's gotta eat," Jack insisted. "My ma says this is the stuff babies should eat."

"Well, she's never liked that stuff."

"Why didn't ya tell me?"

"Ya never asked. Don't see what the fuss is 'bout. Ya know I've always just fed her what we've eaten. Jus' cut it up all small."

"Ennis... "

Joyce fed the girls their breakfast, lunch and supper when she had them. She had sent home leftovers with them, but those usually got eaten for lunch. Ennis could cook well enough. Sure as hell better than Jack, but they were both exhausted after days working as a ranch hand. Ennis had discovered what he called "One Pot Casserole". It meant Ennis threw some sort of meat, with either potatoes, rice or dried pasta into a big pot. He always topped it up with a can of tomatoes and whatever can of vegetables was closest to the front of the cupboard. Whatever came out was supper. It was edible, but usually more so with a lot of ketchup.

"She'll eat whatever she's given,” Ennis said and chewed at the skin around his thumb. “Or she'll go hungry."

"Sure, ya act all tough now. You're not the one feedin' her."

Ennis shrugged his shoulders. "I wasn't the one stupid enough to feed her peas." When Ennis mentioned peas, Junior made a face and smacked her hands down on the high chair. Ennis smiled and shook his head. "See?"

"Shut up," Jack mumbled and picked up the spoon again.

He got a little bit of strained peas on the spoon and swirled the spoon in the air, making air plane noises. Junior would have none of it and batted the spoon away, sending the peas straight onto Jack's face. It hit his nose and oozed off the end.

Ennis took one look at Jack and started to laugh. It was one of his rare, open laughs that only Jack got to see. Junior was so happy to see her daddy laughing that she started a high pitch squealing and clapped her hands.

"Jack Jack! Jack Jack!"

Ennis had been worried when he picked the girls up from seeing Alma that it would somehow change them. That they would want to go with her. But it was Saturday now and here was Junior laughing at Jack. She started giggling even more and Ennis laughed right along with her as Jack wiped the strained peas off his face.

"You two havin' a good time?" he moved grumbled with a smile.

Ennis clapped Jack on the back. "Sure am, friend. And I think that bull’s eye means Junior won. No strained peas."

Jack looked at what was left in the bowl and thought about how happy Junior was right now. He wasn't going to spoil that by making her eat something she didn't want. "No strained peas."

“Well, she’s gotta eat.” Ennis walked over to the kitchen cupboard, pulling open the drawer. He hemmed and hawed for a few moments before pulling out two cans. Ennis opened them and threw them into one bowl, mixing them up. He set the bowl down in front of Junior and told her, “Eat up, darlin’.”

Jack peered into the bowl and then looked at the cans. Ennis had mixed a can of sweet corn with apple sauce. Jack’s stomach churned and he would have rather have eaten the strained peas, but Junior stuck her whole hand in the bowl. She grabbed a fistful of slimy corn and shovelled it into her mouth.

With her mouth still full, Junior pronounced, “Yum! Yum!”

Jack got the idea that growing up in a house with them, the girls would develop iron stomachs and strange tastes. There could be worse things in life.

END Part 8.


	9. Chapter 9

"Good mornin', Rockypoint Sheriff’s Office," came the cracked greeting over the line as the phone call went through.

"Good mornin'," Bert said and moved the chew from under his front lip to his right cheek to speak more clearly. "I was hopin' ta speak to Sheriff Colter?"

"May I ask who's callin'?"

"Sheriff Wymer from down in Riverton."

"One moment, please," the woman said and there was loud clunk as the woman set the receiver on the desk. Bert winced when she hollered, "Ernest, pick up the phone!"

Bert spit into the garbage can as he waited, finally hearing another voice on the line. "Sheriff Colter, here."

"Hey there, Ernest," Bert greeted him. "Bert Wymer from Riverton."

"Hey, Bert. Haven't heard from ya since that cattle wranglin’ case."

"Yep. Listen, jus' callin' for your opinion."

"Off the record then?"

"For now," Bert answered. "Just puttin’ out feelers. Got a new boy in town 'n' like to check up on people, you know how it is. Word is he's from around your parts."

"What's his name?"

"Goes by Jack Twist. Hear he came from Lightning Flat."

There was a chuckle on the other end of the line. "Did he go 'n' knock some girl up?"

Bert paused. "Now why’d you go askin' that?"

"Cause if it's John Twist's boy, then that's what I'd be expectin'. Old man's a real piece of work. Mean son of a bitch. I got called up once 'cause his neighbour's bull got onto his land 'n' he was threatening to shoot it first, then fill his neighbour full of buckshot. No neighbours for miles 'n' miles, but John's got a way of gettin' under the skin of his only one over a broken fence line."

"What about his son?"

"Harmless enough," Ernest told him. "Local preacher hauled him in once for drinkin' underage, but that was with a whole mess of other boys his age. Boys'll be boys, ya know? Why? He got himself into some sort of mess?"

"Nah, quite the opposite… got himself a steady job 'n' renting a house with a… friend."

Ernest heard Bert whistle low. "That boy's slick. Could talk the skin off a woolie, or the skirt off the preacher's daughter. Can't see him causin’ any real trouble for ya, Bert. Jus' keep your local girls locked up 'cause that one runs real fast 'n' easy. He's got a wanderin' eye 'n' itchy feet. Surprised he's still in Wyoming. Last I heard from the postmaster in the Flats, he had taken up 'n' gone to herd sheep on some mountain. Postmaster tells me that he sends his Ma a little money regularly. The Twist family is good Christian folk."

"That so," Bert seemed to mull over the information. "And, no trouble with other boys 'n' such?"

"Ya mean, like fightin'? Nah, never got in any scraps the sheriff’s office got involved with. Like I said, Jack Twist's jus' one of the good ol' boys with an asshole of a daddy. Surprised he turned out as amiable as he did. There somethin' you're not tellin' me?"

Bert spit again in the garbage can. "Nah, jus' tryin' ta get a feel for some new blood in my town is all."

"That's good, 'cause I'd hate to hafta be the one to tell his Ma that he's been arrested for somethin'. She's a distant cousin of my wife."

"Ain't nothin' like that I think," Bert assured him. "Thanks for the help, bud."

"No problem," Ernest said. "Always glad to help another man of the law."

"You have a good day now, Ernest. Bye."

"Bye."

Bert hung up the phone and swished the chew around his mouth, mulling over what he'd learned.

++++++

Jack walked into the small kitchen and found Ennis standing over the sink working a plunger. For a little extra cash, Jack had agreed to run an errand for Don to Lander on Sunday while him and Joyce went to church. It was his and Ennis’ day off, but the extra pay was too tempting.

Jack’s mouth gapped a little, trying to wrap his head around what he saw. Jenny was fixed to Ennis' hip with some sort of contraption while Ennis worked with free hands. Jack narrowed his eyes when he figured out what it was.

"Why do ya got the baby in a feed bag?"

Ennis glared at the plunger and turned to consider Jack. "Holds her, don't it?"

"Um, I guess so, but don't explain why ya got her in a feed bag."

"Cause she wouldn’t stop cryin'," Ennis explained.

Jack moved closer and looked at Jenny who was nestled into the feed bag fast asleep. "Looks comfy enough." He shrugged and nodded his head. "Pretty good idea, I figure. She fussin' again, needing ta be held?"

"Yep," Ennis said and used the plunder to pick up a cloth diaper from the sink, water dripping off it. "Washer's broke again."

"Damn," Jack hissed under his breath. "We'll have to see if we can get it runnin'. Can't afford a new one."

"Nope." Ennis let the soaked diaper drop back into the sink with a splash, hitting the bar of sunlight soap floating in the dingy water. "This'll work for now."

Jack looked down at the corner where there was a large pile of dirty clothing. Junior was curled up in a ball, covered in one of Ennis’ work shirt. “Any particular reason she’s sleepin’ there?”

“Cause that’s where she dropped.”

“Huh.” Jack crouched down and tucked the shirt up around her chin. “What was she doin’?”

“Other than drivin’ me nuts? She was runnin’ around in circles.”

“Chasin’ the dog under the house?”

“Yep,” Ennis answered. “She could hear the damn thing scratchin’ around under the floor boards.”

When the dog was usually making noise, Ennis or Jack would just stomp their foot on the floor and yell, “Shut up, Roger.” But with both girls sleeping, that wasn’t an option. Ennis looked tired having undoubtedly been run ragged by his daughters alone.

“We should try ta bait Roger out from under the house again,” Jack mused.

“Maybe the house’ll jus’ tip over ‘n’ take care of him,” Ennis grumbled. He picked up a few diapers with the end of the plunger and dropped them into a bucket on the floor. “Though he does keep the rabbits away. How was the drive?”

“Long,” Jack admitted. He laid his hand on the small of Ennis’ back, rubbing gently. “Missed ya.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ennis grumbled. “Ya were longer than I’d thought you’d be. Meet anyone?”

Jack kept his hand on Ennis, reading Ennis’ grumbling for what it was worth. Ennis had missed him, too. But, even more so, there was a flash of that ever present jealousy that always seemed to be bubbling under the surface. They lived and worked together, but Ennis got insecure when Jack was away even for even the shortest time. Jack should probably hate it, but he didn’t. It reminded Jack that Ennis wanted him.

“Barely talked to a soul,” Jack promised. “Was too eager to get back home to you ‘n’ the girls.”

The tension in Ennis’ shoulder lessened. “That so.”

“Uh huh.” Jack’s hand moved up to Ennis’ neck and he started a slow massage. “I’m thinkin’ that both girls are sleepin’...”

It was almost comical how the comprehension dawned on Ennis’ face. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Jack moved to support the bottom of the feedbag and eased the strap off Ennis’ shoulder. “Jenny’s out. We’ll jus’ leave Junior sleepin’ where she is.”

Ennis seemed willing enough, but looked down at Junior in the pile of dirty laundry, slightly guilty. “On the floor?”

“They’ll sleep anywhere,” Jack assured him and eased Jenny fully into his arms, letting the feedbag drop to the floor. “Better than her runnin’ around like a hellion chasin’ Roger under the floor boards.”

Ennis grunted and nodded. He stood in place as Jack walked over to the girl’s room on the main floor and settled Jenny in her crib, leaving the door open. When Jack came out of the room, he took Ennis’ hand and only had to tug once before leading him upstairs. As the bowed steps creaked under their weight, Jack felt Ennis’ hand slip to his ass and squeeze.

“Been awhile,” Ennis said with a rough voice.

“Couple days is too long,” Jack agreed. Up on the mountain they used to go at it like rabbits, but with two small girls underfoot and working full time at the Wroe ranch, they were both just exhausted. “Feel old.”

“You are old,” Ennis taunted him and gave Jack a small shove on the final stair.

Jack stumbled and laughed, “That means you are to, friend. Listen, you go in there, I just wanna get something from the other room.”

Jack said the ‘other room’ because to the outside world, that was Jack’s room, but in reality, it just served as a storage room. Hidden in the bottom drawer of the wardrobe, he had some sweet smelling oil. It was something that they didn’t use it that often because Ennis insisted it made him “smell like a girl”. But, on their days off, there was something nice to taking it easy and slow if they could. Jack grabbed the bottle and rushed back to the bedroom he shared with Ennis.

Jack stopped in the doorway and had to chuckle at what he saw. Ennis was laying face down on the bed, passed out like he had been knocked hard from a bronco.

“Ennis?” Jack called.

Ennis’ foot twitched and he groaned into the pillow. “Huh?”

Jack shook his head and chuckled, “Oh, cowboy. They done got you good.”

“Nah, jus’ give me a second,” Ennis mumbled. “Rarin’ ta go.”

Jack set down the bottle of oil on the bedside table and grabbed Ennis’ right boot, pulling it off. He watched Ennis flex his socked foot and then pulled off the left boot.

“Sure ya are.”

“Ya doubtin’ my abilities?” Ennis tried to sound threatening, he was far from that. The best he could manage was to swat at Jack lamely with his socked foot.

“Never,” Jack assured him and shoved him over on the bed. He lay down next to Ennis, his chest pressed to Ennis’ back. “How ‘bout we jus’ rest our eyes for a bit, huh?”

Ennis yawned and shut his eyes. “Only ‘cause ya sound so tired.”

Jack’s hand snuck under Ennis’ warm shirt and rubbed slow, comforting circles on his belly. “You’re doin’ it for me then.”

“Uh huh,” Ennis whispered and sighed. “I’m a forgivin’ man.”

Jack nuzzled the back of Ennis’ neck, loving the soft blonde curls there. “Ya sure are.”

Ennis last words before he fell into an exhausted sleep were, “Gonna nail ya threw the mattress when I wake up, Twist.”

++++++

Alma clasped her hands demurely in her lap and crossed her ankles. Her sombre grey dress was freshly starched and pressed, matching her patent leather Sunday shoes. She could feel the eyes of her pastor staring at her and waiting for an answer.

“You heard me the first time, didn’t you, Alma?” he asked in a tone reserved for a misbehaving child.

Alma kept her eyes down and answered in a quiet voice. “Yes, sir.”

“Do you believe in Jesus?”

Alma’s right hand moved up to finger the gold cross her mother insisted she wear to meet Pastor Starling. “Yes, sir.”

“Do you pray?”

“Yes, sir.”

Pastor Starling’s fingers tapped out an irritated rhythm on the Bible sitting on his desk.

“You should thank the Lord that your mother had the sense to bring you to me for counselling. We have a problem because I think you’re lying to me. You’re full of sin, Alma. We are all born with original sin, but you… you have been especially sinful.”

Alma shook her head. She wanted nothing more than to run out of the room, but stayed in the stiffed back chair. “No, I haven’t.”

“The Bible says, ‘Encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonoured.’ Your mother told me that you’ve been a bad wife and mother.”

The edges of the cross in her hand bit into her hand as she clutched it more tightly. She felt like she wanted to vomit and swallowed thickly. “I… I haven’t…”

“Your husband left you,” the pastor said, accusation clear in his voice. “You left your children.”

“Please, don’t,” Alma begged. She didn’t want to hear this. Alma was barely keeping it together and she didn’t want to hear what the nagging voices in her head were already yelling at her.

“I understand that Ennis hasn’t been a good Christian, but he’s your husband. You picked him and married then man. The question is, Alma, have you been a good Christian wife? Have you led him to the Lord by your example?”

“Ennis doesn’t love me the way he should,” Alma blurted out. “He doesn’t look at me like he looks at…”

Assuming she was talking about other women, the pastor cut her off. “Ask yourself how much of that is your fault? It’s your responsibility as his wife to keep Ennis interested. It’s your duty as a good Christian wife to honour your marriage bed. By doing so, you can help your husband avoid fornication and temptation. Have you been depriving him?”

“I…” Alma choked up. She wasn’t used to talking about this with anyone. Alma hadn’t even spoken about such things with Ennis. All she could think about was Ennis’ warning that no one would believe her if she told them about Jack. But she really did believe in God and wanted to believe that her pastor would believe her. “I did right by Ennis, but he ain’t normal.”

“A virtuous wife doesn’t slander her own husband,” the pastor immediately chided Alma. “If we’re going to fix you and your marriage you have to learn that.”

“Fix me?” Alma choked. “But, Ennis ‘n’ Jack…”

“Before you cast any stones, let’s talk about your sins first. You failed to take pride in your home and be a joyful mother. Your mother tells me you smoke?” Alma was stunned and merely nodded. The pastor continued with a tsking noise. “We’ll stop that.”

Alma nodded again and bit her bottom lip. She really wanted a cigarette right now. But more than anything else, she just wanted to find some place dark and silent to hide.

Pastor Starling reached out and patted Alma on the arm. “We can fix you, Alma. I promise. All this nonsense and sadness in your head can easily be set aside if you just believe hard enough. You can be a better mother and win your husband back. Let’s try by smiling and, best of all, praying.” When Alma just starred at him blankly, he prompted her. “C’mon now, let’s have a pretty smile. When you’re feeling sad, just smile. It’ll help push those sinful melancholy thoughts away. You’ll become a better mother automatically by becoming a better Christian. Your girls will learn by your example. The way you act now, you’re not only dooming yourself, but them. When you’re in doubt, read the Bible. When you think your husband has a wandering eye, just go put on a pretty dress and do your hair up nice.”

“It’s not that easy,” Alma tried one last time. She had tried all that. But Ennis still looked at Jack the way she wanted him to look at her and the dark thoughts still pulled her down.

“It is,” the pastor insisted and continued on, “Now, let us pray. Dear Lord, please grant Alma Del Mar guidance and humility as she seeks to become a better Christian, mother and wife…”

END Part 9.


	10. Chapter 10

Jack shifted in bed, smelling the smoke of a freshly lit cigarette. His face was pressed against Ennis’ bare chest and Jack rubbed his cheek against his lover’s sparse chest hair. Jack smiled with his eyes closed when he heard Ennis make an amused sound and felt Ennis’ hand move up from his shoulder to run through his hair. When they were alone like this, the fear was stripped away from Ennis just enough for the guarded displays of affection.

They got into it hot and heavy after they put the girls down for the night, falling asleep crushed together. Jenny had taken to a crying fit shortly after midnight, which had woken Junior up. Ennis had rocked Jenny while she wailed and Jack tried to lull Junior to back sleep in the living room, singing ‘Water Walking Jesus’ to her. Over an hour later, Jack had finished singing ‘Ring of Fire’ to Junior and they had finally been able to resettle the sleeping girls back in their cribs. Jack tucked Junior’s stuffed horse next to her and then snuck out of the room after Ennis. Peeling down to their boxers, the exhausted men had fallen into bed, hoping for some sleep. Tonight the wind was coming up from the west and not seeping a cold draft into the second floor. Jack had managed to drift back to sleep, but smelling the cigarette, he knew Ennis must have spent the time holding him and probably fretting.

Jack cracked one eye open and looked up at Ennis’ pensive expression. “What ya thinkin’ ‘bout, cowboy?”

“Nothin’.” Ennis took a long drag from his cigarette and then handed it to Jack without being asked for him to take a drag. “Jus’ thinkin’.”

Jack shifted just enough so that he wouldn’t risk the cigarette burning Ennis, but kept the back of his head solidly resting on Ennis’ chest.

“Ya think a lot.” Jack took another puff and handed it Ennis. “More than ya talk.”

Ennis just grunted his agreement and took the cigarette. He flicked the ash into an old soup tin they kept on the bedside table of milk crates. He liked that Jack was always chatting. It gave him less time to think and more time to listen. Ennis liked listening to the mighty strange stream of things that came out of Jack’s mouth. He wouldn’t admit that he had lit the cigarette a good half an hour before they were due to get up just hoping it would wake Jack up.

“Sometimes…” Ennis mused with a soft chuckle. “Hell, not sometimes… all the time, I think your mouth just spits out whatever pops into your head.”

Jack smirked and the side of his mouth twitched up. “Like that you rode me so hard last night that I figure I’ll be walkin’ funny today?”

Ennis should have been used to Jack trying to shock him, but even now, a slight burn of a blush rose to his cheeks. He flicked the dying cigarette butt into the soup tin.

Coughing a bit, Ennis mumbled, “Did I hurt ya?”

“Aw, shit, Ennis,” Jack said and quickly rolled so that he was lying on Ennis, the other man pressed back on the small bed. “Might think ya care, or somthin’.”

Ennis smacked Jack on the shoulder, trying not to smile. “Shut up.”

“You do…”

“Jack…” Ennis warned. “I was jus’ worried I might hurt ya…” Ennis paused for a moment, getting his own look of mischief riled up. “You bein’ all delicate ‘n’ all.”

“You’re lookin’ for a fight this mornin’!” Jack laughed and shook his head. He leaned in and planted a kiss on Ennis’ lips, sliding his tongue in just enough to tease. “I’m about as delicate as you are chatty.”

Ennis tried to deepen the kiss and made an annoyed sound in the back of his throat when Jack pulled away. “Nah, you’re not delicate, but you sure as hell are…”

Jack shut him up with another kiss. Under the grey trail blanket they used to keep warm in the drafty second floor bedroom, Ennis’ hands came up to cup Jack’s ass through his threadbare white boxers. He was more than pleased when Ennis pushed down the boxers and Jack kicked them off onto the floor. It took a bit of shimmying, but Ennis worked his way out of his own pair. Jack found Ennis modesty frustrating and endearing all at the same time. Most of the time, except on the hottest nights of summer, Ennis insisted on wearing ugly pyjama pants to bed. And now that they were sharing a house with little girls, Ennis insisted they wear boxers or long johns all the time when lack of funds and habit meant Jack often went without when he could before.

Jack groaned happily and shifted, lying just right so they slid together. Fucking was good. Hell, fucking was great as far as Jack was concerned. But there was something nice and easy about the slow thrust and slide of sensitive skin. The urgency burnt away in the night, they could share this sweet, slow intimacy. Like this, Ennis let Jack take control. Jack pressed down against Ennis, increasing the pressure in all the right places. His lips nipped at Ennis’ lips and Ennis shifted slightly so that his legs spread, settling Jack fully between them. The build up was lazy and intense in a different way than the passion that drove so many of their encounters.

The comfort and trust made it all the sweeter when Ennis cried out, his moans muffled with Jack’s continued kisses. Ennis pushed his hips up when he came, but settled down satiated as Jack was getting so damn close. Ennis’ quiet surrender to Jack was what finally drove Jack over the edge of pleasure. Jack’s fingertips dug into Ennis’ biceps when he came and he buried his face against Ennis’ neck.

“Always good with you,” Jack declared and kissed up Ennis’ neck to his ear, after a few deep breaths.

Ennis didn’t say anything in return and Jack didn’t except him to. Jack was fine with the way Ennis held him, letting Jack rest his weight full on Ennis. Back on the mountain, when it all started, Ennis was too afraid to do even this. This small act of intimacy was even a challenge to his perceived manhood. Whenever Jack tried to press him down, in the tent or wrestling about, Ennis did everything he could to get Jack under him. It was like Ennis thought it was the place Ennis thought Jack should be.

But, in moments like this, Jack knew Ennis was trying to give him as much as he could. While Ennis never once had let Jack take him, he had capitulated in other ways. It had been a long time since Ennis tensed when Jack spooned up behind him to hold him in the night. It was something, Ennis letting Jack doing the holding when Ennis was brought up to think men were the ones who were meant to do the holding and not be held. And even though Ennis never once got down on his knees in front of Jack, he had a damn fine mouth and knew how to use it in ways that made Jack want to weep.

Wrapped together like this, in the quiet of the early morning, Jack knew Ennis was most vulnerable. Not all of the masks he wore were stripped away, but Jack got to see more of who this man really was than anyone else. Ennis talked more when they were alone together. But, most importantly, Ennis smiled more when they were alone. Like now Ennis was smiling at him tenderly.

“Been thinkin’,” Ennis admitted, tightening his arms around Jack.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yep.” Ennis huffed a little. “Jus’ that…”

“No need to say anything,” Jack said, wanting to spare Ennis the embarrassment of saying something he didn’t want to. “I know.”

Ennis closed his eyes and his breath caught just a bit. He mumbled so low that Jack would have missed it hadn’t he been so close. “This is good.”

All the heartache of having to stand by Ennis’ side as he was married, pretending to be just be his best friend was almost worth it hearing that quiet declaration. Alma might not be out of the picture, but she was out of Ennis’ bed and home. Ennis had the children he had always craved, who were snuggled up safely downstairs. All the pieces of the puzzle were starting to fall into place to make Jack a truly satisfied man.

And all of it was possible because Alma was a head case. Jack knew he should probably feel sympathy for her, but he really just wanted her gone. Cruel as it was, he wanted to think of her as no more than brooding mare. As far as he was concerned, the only thing she had been good for in Jack and Ennis’ life was giving them those two little girls. He didn’t want her dead, but he just wanted her gone. In a world that threatened everything he had with Ennis, she was the biggest threat of all.

Holding Ennis tighter, Jack answered Ennis’ declaration with the two words that were their creed. “One shot.”

++++++

Joyce set down a big bowl of split pea and ham soup in front of Ennis. She had made a ham the night before and the leftovers were being served up for their Tuesday lunch. Besides the soup, there were thick ham sandwiches on homemade bread. Junior was sitting in her highchair with a small blue plastic bowl filled with diced ham, cheese and peas. Jenny was in a nearby playpen happily sucking on a bottle.

“Went into town yesterday while the girls were with the sheriff’s wife,” Joyce said.

“That so?” Jack asked, watching Ennis tense at the mention of their arranged visitation they had set up so the Beers family could see the girls.

“Yeah,” Joyce answered. She took her large serrated knife and stabbed into the loaf of bread, squishing it down with her flash of temper. “Heard from Sylvia at the general store that Alma was lookin’ better. Or, at least tryin’ ta look better.” The knife clanked as its blade hit the cutting board. “Had a new dress on, but still looked pale. That’s what Sylvia told me, at least. The girl was wearing this red number…” Jack almost spit out a spoonful of soup at the mention of red and Joyce gave him an odd look. “A mousey girl like that shouldn’t be wearin’ red. But, anyway, Sylvia told me that Alma was buyin’ the latest issue of ‘Good Housekeeping’.” When all three men looked at her with blank stares, she sighed and gestured with the knife. “It’s a ladies magazine. Helps women become better housewives. I certainly don’t need it. The girl’ll be needin’ more than that if you ask me.”

“Joyce…” Don hissed a warning at her.

“What?” Joyce glared back at him. “It’s true. Not like she’s gonna find an article on, ‘how to find your half-addled brains and bake a blue ribbon apple pie in ten easy steps’. She’s madder than a monkey on a trike.”

Don just sighed and took a bite of his sandwich, not willing to take on his feisty wife when he had a sandwich to eat.

“She was painted up like a trollop, too,” Joyce added just for good measure. “Had some rouge on. I figure he mama just let her put it on so she wouldn’t look like a walkin’ corpse, but it didn’t work. She’s wastin’ away, if it’s even possible for a tiny thing like that to get even skinnier.” Joyce gestured at Ennis with the knife while her other hand settled on her ample hip. “Should’ve gone with a girl with some meat on her, Ennis. Right, Donnie?”

“Yes’m,” Don mumbled with full mouth. When Joyce glared at him, he didn’t look away, but met her glare with a smirk and swallowed. “Big girls make the best wives.”

Ennis looked liked he wanted to crawl under the table. “Don’t need no wife. Big girl, or not.”

Jack bit his bottom lip. That was pretty damn close to a public admission from Ennis about their relationship. They both were pretty sure that Don and Joyce Wroe knew about their secret. They weren’t stupid, but it went unsaid. Jack kept watching a hunk of ham floating in the pea soup before he looked up. Even if they knew, he half expected to a look of disgust on her face. Ennis’ paranoia must be rubbing off on him.

Instead when Jack dared to glance up, Joyce was gifting Ennis with a fond smile. “Of course you don’t, hon.” Before either Jack or Ennis could say anything, or bolt from the table, Joyce carried on, “Figurin’ you two should know somethin’ ‘bout us.”

Don’s spoon was half way up to mouth and paused. “Joyce?”

Joyce put down the bread knife and laid a hand on her husband’s shoulder, as he was sitting right next to her. “They should know.”

Don set the spoon back down into the bowl. “Reckon they know. Everyone knows.”

“Yeah,” Joyce agreed. Her smile faltered a bit. “But, knowin’ gossip ‘n’ bein’ told the real story makes the difference between bein’ friends and, well, it don’t matter. Some secrets are meant to be voiced, others aren’t.” Joyce’s hand tightened on Don’s shoulder. “You know Donnie ‘n’ me don’t get on with the Beers. Reason why is twofold. Harry Beers got my cousin Renny in the family way. Renny was just a scrap of a girl still in high school ‘n’ he took advantage of her. Family wanted to send her away, but didn’t have the money.”

“Don’t gotta tell us,” Ennis told her. He met her gaze directly. “But, I do appreciate it.”

“Never thought I’d see the day where I’d be tellin’ Ennis Del Mar to stop interruptin’ me,” Joyce chuckled. “I’m gonna finish this since I started it. Me ‘n’ Donnie took Renny in. That baby was Beers’ son by blood only, but nothin’ else. Renny never asked for a single red cent from them. We were there for her ‘n’ decided to adopt her baby boy since we…” Joyce’s words faltered. “Since, I can’t have any babies of my own.”

Don put his hand over Joyce’s and added, “He was a beautiful boy.”

Joyce kissed the top of Don’s head. “He died. Jus’ stopped breathin’ in his crib one night, so the doc tells me. At the funeral, that horsefaced, cruel hearted Bernice Beers told me God was punishing us ‘cause lil’ Davey was conceived in sin. I’ll never forgive her for that. So, that’s it. The Beers are jus’ nasty people claimin’ to be good Christian folk, but more than willin’ ta cast the first stone even though they’re drowin’ in sin.” Joyce looked first at Ennis, then at Jack before a half smile crossed her lips. “I got my own burdens ‘n’ figure everyone does. Not my place ta judge.”

There was a heavy, expectant silence in the room. Their looming secret didn’t seem quite so repressing at this moment. None of the men seemed sure what to say and the girls were completely clueless of the moment. Junior was happily munching on fistful of ham and cheese.

Joyce tapped Don on the shoulder and then stepped away. “Well, you boys stopped eatin’. Ya don’t like my cookin’?”

Jack caught on quickly, grabbing onto the escape given them. “Oh, no. This is here…” He grabbed his spoon and slurped up a spoonful of soup, then used the spoon to point at the bowl. “This here is mighty fine cookin’.” Under the table he kicked Ennis’ shin. “Don’t ya think this is might fine cookin’, Ennis?”

Ennis blinked and scowled for a moment before clueing in. “Um. Yeah?”

“Good,” Joyce said. “Eat up. Especially you, Ennis. You’re wastin’ away ‘n’ the ladies in town will think I’m not feedin’ you right if I don’t fatten you up like my Donnie.”

“Are you callin’ me fat, woman?” Don mock growled and slapped her on the ass.

“Damn straight I am,” Joyce bantered back to him, not dodging the lick smack. “Like you that way.”

“Good,” Don said and then went back to eating.

Joyce fluttered around the kitchen table as was her habit. She never sat with the men to eat, instead nibbling here and there, testing before and while she served them. She insisted it was how she kept her girlish, plump figure. The men continued to eat until they finished two servings. Jack honestly thought it was all over after the dessert was served. He should have known something was up when Joyce served Red Velvet Cake instead of cookies for lunch.

Ennis looked like he was in heaven digging into the delicacy when Joyce suddenly blurted out, “Called up the county social worker the other day.” When she saw Ennis flinch, she rushed on, “Nothin’ ta do with your girls. Called her up ‘cause, well…” Joyce was never at a loss for words. She nervously fussed with her apron that was splotched with red food colouring. “Well, bein’ with your girls has brought me so much joy. I know some of those gossips in town been chattin’ ‘bout how only reason we’re helpin’ ya out is so I can get my hands on your girls. Or, that we’re helpin’ jus’ ta spite the Beers. It’s not true. They’re your baby girls ‘n’ I’d never take ‘em from a fit daddy. Thought my heart was forever broke after we lost Davey. Didn’t think I could bear to a baby of my own again. And then, I’m getting’ old…”

“You’re not old,” Don insisted.

“Thanks, dear.” Joyce gave him a thankful grin. “But, I ain’t no spring chicken anymore. Point is, we talked to the social worker about adoptin’ again.” She untied her apron and retied it. “Wanted you to know ‘cause they said we might have to wait a few years, or we could get a call ‘n’ get a baby all of a sudden. This won’t affect me takin’ care of the girls. I love ‘em like they were family.” Joyce’s unsure smile became a little broader. “Consider both you boys ‘n’ the girls family now. So, that’s it.” She didn’t wait for either Ennis or Jack to say anything before she continued to speak. “You need more cake.” Joyce quickly cut a huge piece for Ennis, sliding the half eaten piece on his plate over with the enormous new one.

Jack was ready to divert the conversation when Ennis surprised him by grinning softly at Joyce and mumbling, “You’ll make a fine momma.”

“Oh.” Joyce stopped mid-stroke of cutting Jack’s piece. She honest to God blushed and nearly dropped the knife at the compliment. “Why, thank you, dear. Thanks.”

Jack was sure he was only one who caught the quick glance Ennis aimed solely at him before he said, “Family’s not jus’ ‘bout blood.”

END Part 10.


	11. Chapter 11

Alma was walking down an aisle of the only grocery story in town with a shopping  
list clutched tightly in her right hand and trying to avoid slipping on the  
freshly waxed floor. In the back of her mind, she tried to ignore the nagging  
voice of her mother telling her to never walk too close to a boy when on a  
shiny, waxed floor. Her mother had sent her off to the store with a list, just  
like when she was a little girl. She had made sure Alma was clothed impeccably  
in a pretty blue and yellow flowered dress, with matching blue cardigan. It was  
all about appearances and her mother insisted Alma had to be seen by the  
community even though Alma didn’t want to go out of the house.

Alma stopped and grabbed a can off the shelf, considering the dented edge.  
Starring at the green giant on the label, Alma thought he looked more loony  
than jolly. It didn’t make any sense why Alma had to buy more creamed corn when  
there were already three cans in the pantry. She ran her thumb over the dented  
rim, noticing the price had been reduced. Her mother was cheap, but didn’t like  
others to think she was a penny pincher. Alma set the dented can back on the  
shelf with a soft sigh and grabbed another undented one, tossing it into the  
basket hanging from the crook of her arm. Alma’s head was down as she shuffled  
down the aisle towards the canned green beans, only to collide with someone  
when she wasn’t paying attention. From a quick glimpse at the scuffed penny  
loafers, Alma knew she had just run into a man.

Alma blinked and glanced up awkwardly to see she had bumped into Monroe,  
the store owner’s son. The young man fumbled with his price gun and then  
smoothed down his cowlick with his free hand. He was wearing a crisp short  
sleeved white shirt, black slacks that were too short displaying his white  
socks, and a blue apron.

“Hello, Miss Beers.”

“Hi,” Alma mumbled as a blush rose to her cheeks. “Not a Beers anymore.”

“Mrs. Del Mar…” Monroe shook his head, brows creasing for a moment. “Can’t  
say that sounds right. May I call you, Alma?”

“I guess.”

Alma thought it was odd Monroe was asking if he could call her by her  
first name since he was only a few years older than her. He had been calling  
her Alma since he threw snowballs with rocks in them at her in elementary  
school. Monroe had only ever called her Miss Beers when he saw her family in  
church.

Monroe gave her a hesitant smile. “Having a nice day?”

“Um, yes. Fine day.” Even embarrassment couldn’t chase away the years her  
mother had beaten social niceties into her head. She tried for a friendly  
smile, but it came off timid more than anything else. “And, yourself?”

“Good. Right as rain.” Monroe answered. “Weather’s nice.”

Alma paused and didn’t want to point out that it was colder than usual.  
“Sure is.”

“Got corn?” Monroe blurted out.

Alma looked up, taken aback at the out of place question. “Huh?”

Monroe had a blush of his own starting. He pointed at the can in Alma’s  
basket. “Ya got corn.”

“Um.” Alma glanced down at the basket where a can of corn was nestled  
against a tin of SPAM. “Yes. My Ma likes corn. Creamed corn.”

Monroe’s blush got worse, turning his face a strange shade of blotched  
red. “Do you like corn?”

“Ah, yes.” She looked down at the can of corn again. “Corn’s good.”

“You made the nicest cornbread for the church picnic one year.” Monroe was  
shifting from foot to foot. “Well, I best be getting back to work. But, ah, if  
you ever need… more corn, or if anyone gives you trouble, about anything. You  
can count on me. Not everyone believes you’re cr…” He stopped, turning  
impossibly redder and bit his bottom lip for a moment. “What I meant to say  
was, you’re a fine young lady, and…”

Just then a woman came around the corner of the shelves bellowing,  
“Monroe! Where have you gone ‘n’ moved the baking power to, you fool boy? I  
need to make biscuits.” The woman stopped when she caught sight of Alma, a  
sneer crossing her lips. “Well, Alma Del Mar. It’s certainly good to see you up  
‘n’ around after your bad spell.” The woman slowed her speech like she was  
talking to a simpleton. “Are you okay, dear? You’re lookin’ a little sickly.”

“M’fine,” Alma muttered and took a few steps back.

“Alma?” Monroe asked as she started to retreat. He managed to stumble  
forward and grab her shopping basket just before Alma dropped it.

Alma turned and quickly turned her back on them. She tugged the corner of  
her cardigan around her, wrapping her arms around her chest protectively. Now  
she only wanted to escape and didn’t care that it would just add to her already  
tarnished reputation. Fleeing out of the store and down the sidewalk, Alma  
forgot the misery of the encounter in the store when she saw someone had been  
trying more than anything to avoid. Her bad day just got unbearably worse.

Riverton was an awfully small town. Even if you wanted to avoid someone,  
there was no way you could do it forever. Alma saw Ennis and Jack coming out of  
the hardware store together. She watched the length of rope, curled into a  
lasso as it dangled from Ennis’ right hand. They weren’t doing anything that  
would have given them away to anyone else, even if that person had been looking  
for it. Ennis was wearing a blue shirt Alma had bought him. She blinked from  
her vantage point, hidden behind a rusty Ford truck. Her gaze was drawn to a  
rip in Ennis’ shirt just above his elbow. Even now she itched to stitch it up.  
All Alma had ever wanted to do was take care of him.

In front of the townsfolk, Ennis and Jack acted almost like brothers.  
Ennis was stoic as ever, occasionally letting an aura of playfulness slip out  
when Jack’s teasing got to him. Normal people didn’t like to think about things  
that were different. They made excuses because it made things easier to ignore.  
Thinking that Ennis was looking for a substitute for the family they never saw  
around was an easy explanation. They all remembered how his brother and sister  
had married and moved on, leaving the young man to his own devices. Local  
gossip still chattered about how his parents died tragically. Some talked  
about a family curse. It was an acceptable way to explain how close Ennis  
and Jack walked together, occasionally bumping shoulders. It explained the  
tenacious way Jack stayed in Ennis’ life.

Alma had heard other ladies in town say how sorry they felt for poor Jack  
with no brothers or sisters, growing up on a lonely ranch. She might not have  
been some bookworm, but she knew Jack well enough to know that all that silver  
tongued devil had to do to get sympathy was slip ladies some sob story about  
loneliness and sad blue eyes, probably over a piece of conned pie. Alma thought  
that maybe some people were fooled by Jack, but they were just dumb as a bucket  
of mud. Alma knew some of the others were just content to deny what was a plain  
as day to Alma.

The men of Riverton didn’t want to think that a “real man” like Ennis was  
queer. To admit that meant one of their own was queer was hitting too  
close to home. The women sure as hell didn’t want to think that a smooth talker  
and looker like Jack was one either. The townsfolk were more at ease blaming  
the failed marriage on Alma. They were blind if they didn’t see the way the  
corner of Ennis’ eyes crinkled up with joy when he saw Jack. Alma wished she  
could say it was the way she had seen him look at his horses or daughters. But  
Ennis looked at Jack in way Alma had never seen her husband look at anyone  
else.

They might think she was crazy if she ever spit out the truth, but Alma  
knew that what she saw between her husband and Jack was disturbingly real. She  
had been reading the Bible just like her mother and pastor wanted. Leviticus  
said something about men not sleeping with other men like they slept with  
woman. She remembered the word abomination. What she couldn’t wrap her head  
around was that no matter how she figured it, a man couldn’t sleep with another  
man like he did with a woman. Men and women weren’t built the same. It didn’t  
seem physically possible to her. But then there had been a part in the  
Bible talking about men like Jonathan and David kissing with an awful lot of  
longing. It just all seemed stupid and contrary to her.

Alma had tried to have the faith her mother wanted for her. They thought that  
praying would take away her tiredness and sadness. She had prayed and cried,  
but still it never got easier.

It didn’t matter how much she prayed, or if she wore a pretty dress on the  
off chance Ennis might see her in town. The truth was Ennis was never going to  
look at her like he looked at Jack. Alma would never be his whole damn world.  
It felt like craziness thinking anything different.

Last week she had seen Ennis and Jack with her daughters just going about  
the daily business of a family. Junior had looked at Ennis and Jack like they  
were her whole damn world, which Alma realized they were. It had been a long  
time since Junior had looked at her like that. The worst thing was Alma that  
was trying to figure out if she felt more guilty or relieved. They were her  
responsibility, but for the past year her babies had felt more like a growing  
burden than anything else.

++++++ 

When Jack came into the house, the kitchen lights were off and he could  
see the burning ember of Ennis’ cigarette. Jack rubbed the pad of his thumb  
over the truck key in his palm. He toed his boots off at the back door, leaving  
them next to Ennis’ boots and Junior’s tiny pink shoes. He had never cared  
about wearing his boots inside before, but now there was a baby crawling around  
and neither of them was too keen on mopping the floor. He peeled off his socks  
next, preferring to walk around bare foot just like Ennis did in the house when  
there was no snow outside to chill the floorboards.

“Any particular reason you’re sittin’ in the dark?”

Ennis didn’t answer, but slowly sucked in another puff from his cigarette.  
His shoulders were slumped and head bowed. Jack ambled closer and settled his  
hand on Ennis’ shoulder. Tossing the keys onto the kitchen table, Jack slowly  
ran his fingertips up Ennis shoulder blade to the back of his neck. He tugged  
gently on Ennis’ too long curls, running his fingers through them.

“Told ya not to wait up for me, cowboy,” Jack chided gently.

“Ya smell like…” Ennis took another puff and leaned back against Jack’s  
touch. “Her.”

Jack had been expecting this. He just continued carding his fingers  
through Ennis hair and leaned in to kiss the top of his head. “Do I? Didn’t  
notice.”

“Don’t like it.”

Jack smiled into Ennis’ curls and laid he cheek against them. Moving  
closer to the back of the chair and he wrapped his arms around Ennis’  
shoulders. “I don’t like it either, but I had to do it.”

Ennis snorted under his breath and shook his head. “Floosies.”

As the cigarette burned down to the nub, a last stream of smoke escaped  
Ennis’ nostrils. He flicked the butt into a Campbell’s tomato soup can that was  
already half full from just tonight. Ennis spent the evening after putting his  
girls to bed smoking in the dark and waiting for Jack to come home from his  
date. He had wondered if Jack had felt this resentment and jealousy when he was  
off with Alma.

“Hate it,” Ennis mumbled under his breath.

Jack squeezed Ennis tighter, taking comfort in Ennis’ jealousy. “Had a few  
quick beers. Jus’ spent enough time with her so that people saw.”

Ennis’ hand came to rest on Jack’s forearm, fingertips digging in. “Bet ya  
danced with her.”

“Yeah, maybe one dance.” Ennis was silent after Jack’s admitted it and  
Jack sighed, “We talked ‘bout this, Ennis. Ya agreed it was a good idea…”

“Don’t care. Makes me…”

Ennis stopped, just like he did when his emotions were getting the best of  
him. It didn’t matter that Jack dating kept people from talking about him  
living with Ennis and the girls. He wanted to say that he wanted to kill anyone  
who touched Jack. The rage and jealousy that was burning a hole in his belly  
had no words.

“There’s only you,” Jack promised him. “Always will be.”

Jack understood what Ennis couldn’t say. When Ennis was still shacked up  
with Alma, going out to flirt with girls gave Jack a sick sense of revenge. He  
took pleasure when Ennis cornered him out in the field or barn the morning  
after and all but stalked him. But now that Ennis was completely his, the games  
just seemed sadly pathetic.

Jack undid Ennis’ top shit button and snuck his hand inside to settle on  
Ennis’ collarbone. “People will start talkin’ if I stop chasin’ tail all of a  
sudden.”

The quiet of the house strung out while they held each other and Ennis  
finally admitted, “I know.”

“Hidin’ in the open. I won’t fuck’em. Ya know that. Jus’ go out every now  
‘n’ to the bar, dance some. Flirt with the waitresses a bit. I’ll always come  
home to you.” Jack tapped Ennis’ collar bone and moved down to nip the tip of  
Ennis’ ear. “It’ll get us some free pie. You like pie.”

“Would give up pie if it meant ya didn’t have to flirt with any of those  
tarts.”

Jack chuckled deeply and kissed the back of Ennis’ neck. “Why, Ennis Del  
Mar, that’s damn near a…”

“Shut up,” Ennis grumbled. “I take it back.”

“Na huh…” Jack nipped just under Ennis’ hair line. He could taste the  
slight tang of sweat and just a little grit from a hard day’s work. “Only  
reason I’m anywhere near those gals is so I can be with you ‘n’ your girls. You  
trust me, don’t ya?”

“Yeah.” Jack loved that there was no hesitation in Ennis’ answer. Just  
when Jack thought he couldn’t fall anymore in love with this man, Ennis held  
onto his arm and mumbled, “Only one I do.”

Jack knew it was easier for Ennis to be turned away from him when he was  
admitting something like this. These moments were rare and Jack wanted to push  
it far as he dared. “How much?”

“Enough that if anything happened to me, I’d want ya to raise my girls. No  
one else.”

Jack’s stomach did a little flop. That was much, but Jack wanted to see in  
this vulnerable moment if Ennis would dare to admit more. “That it?”

Jack grunted when the back of the chair suddenly hit into his stomach as  
Ennis pushed it back. Ennis was up and out of the chair in a split second,  
getting up close and grabbing Jack by the back of the neck. Ennis was breathing  
heavily and his eyes narrowed intensely.

“Enough to risk my girls to be with ya,” Ennis rumbled low. “Enough to  
risk dyin’ in a ditch to be with ya.”

Ennis might never say he loved Jack out loud, but admitting he was willing  
to risk his family and life with the ultimate admission.

“Ennis…”

Ennis answer was to crush his mouth against Jack’s mouth. Even though the  
girls were young, Ennis never risked touching Jack like this outside of their  
shared bedroom. As they kissed, Jack wrapped his arms around Ennis’ waist,  
pulling him in close so they touch chest to groin until their belt buckles  
clanked.

The slight clatter seemed to slam Ennis’ guards back up. He pulled away  
slightly from Jack, glancing over his shoulder at the closed door leading to  
the girls’ bedroom.

“Upstairs,” Jack insisted. “They’re still sleepin’.”

Ennis waited a moment, holding his breath, but was only greeted by  
silence. Finally after a heated look, Ennis nodded. Jack led Ennis towards the  
stairway and winced when the bottom stair creaked under his weight.

“Gotta fix that,” Ennis whispered and pushed impatiently on Jack’s lower  
back.

“Yeah.”

Jack was already unbuttoning his shirt and had it off by the time they hit  
the doorway to their bedroom. Slipping it off, he held it up to his face and  
sniffed, smelling the slightly lingering scent of the flowery dime store  
perfume. It seemed alien when he was used to the honest smell of Ennis’ sweat,  
cattle, and his beloved horses. Seeing what Jack was doing, Ennis tugged the  
shirt out of Jack’s hands and tossed it across the room.

Ennis ran his hand over Jack’s bare chest. “That’s better.”

“Wouldn’t it be even better if we got the rest of our gear off?”

Ennis ignored Jack’s teasing question and leaned over to sniff at Jack’s  
neck. He made a satisfied sound in the back of his throat when he didn’t smell  
any of the perfume on Jack. Grabbing Jack’s belt buckle, he hauled him close  
and into another forceful kiss. Still kissing, Ennis scrambled to unhook Jack’s  
belt buckle and work the zipper down. Jack hissed once Ennis got his hand  
worked into Jack’s jeans, grabbing him firm and just the way Jack liked.

“Could do it jus’ like this,” Ennis hissed.

And with those words, Jack knew it was going to be one of those rare times  
that Ennis teased him with words as well as his hands.

Ennis had a sinful look about him. “Could make ya…”

Ennis didn’t finish, but squeezed Jack hard before pulling his hand out  
and running his fingers over Jack’s lips. Jack licked and nipped at Ennis’  
fingers, knowing what Ennis was referring to. Sometimes Ennis would make him  
shoot off first and lick his fingers clean.

“Not tonight,” Ennis decided as Jack worked his tongue between Ennis’  
finger and thumb. When Jack bit down with a wicked gleam in his eyes, Ennis  
hissed, “Get on the goddamn bed, Twist.”

Jack pulled away with a deep chuckle. “Ya want it bad, don’t ya?”

“Bed,” Ennis repeated and started to undue his own belt.

“All this talkin’… More than you’ve said all week.”

“Shut up.” Ennis had peeled his own shirt and undershirt off.

“Oh, make that two weeks!”

Ennis lunged for Jack who only laughed and dived onto the bed. The frame  
bumped against the wall, but didn’t creak. Jack had come home a few weeks ago  
to find their crappy old bed frame replaced with this slightly less crappy bed  
frame. The ancient frame was tarnished brass, but solid and didn’t squeak every  
time someone moved on it. When Jack questioned Ennis where he got it, Ennis  
just mumbled something about finding it. Jack had quickly figured out Ennis had  
dragged it home more than to stop worrying about a squeaky bed.

Jack scrambled to the head of the bed to dodge another of Ennis’  
mischievous lunges. That put Jack at the perfect position to grip the curve of  
the brass bed frame and glance over his shoulder. When he saw how Ennis’ froze,  
Jack smirked knowing this was exactly the reason Ennis had brought home the bed  
frame.

“Ya want me like this?” Jack asked.

Ennis nodded and licked his lips. He blinked a few times and then  
hurriedly shucked off his jeans. When Jack went to do the same, Ennis rumbled,  
“I’ll do it.”

Jack tightened his grasp, feeling the brass already warming to his touch.  
“Yeah, okay.”

Ennis took his time and ran his hands down Jack’s side to his lower back.  
Often they were rough and quick like on Brokeback, but sometimes they took  
their time now that they could. In moments like this, Ennis touched Jack as if  
he couldn’t believe Jack was really with him. Now Ennis’ touch was strong and  
sure.

Jack’s breath caught as Ennis went back to slowly kiss down Jack’s spine.  
“Ennis…”

Ennis ignored Jack and continued his careful ministrations. His hands  
snuck down Jack’s hips, pushing Jack’s jeans down. This feeling of rough hands  
on his skin was one of the reasons they hardly ever wore underwear. They had to  
remember to put boxers on while sleeping with the girls around. Jack let  
himself be kissed, fondled, and manoeuvred as Ennis stripped his jeans off.

“Get the stuff…” Jack grunted out.

Ennis made an impatient sound, but pulled away and leaned over to the  
bedside table. Roughly pulling out the drawer, Ennis grabbed a well used jar of  
Vaseline. Jack kept gripping the bed frame and hung his head, eyes closing as  
he got what he wanted soon enough. He let himself concentrate on the feeling of  
slick and teasing fingers. Widening his legs, he welcomed the familiar stretch  
and burn. He licked his lips when he heard Ennis toss the jar to the foot of  
the bed, knowing it was close for later in the night.

This was why he could never imagine life with a woman. Jack needed the way  
Ennis touched him. He craved the hardness of Ennis’ character and body. Jack  
loved the way Ennis groaned and grabbed his hips as he entered him. Jack kept  
his eyes closed and groaned himself as he rocked back against Ennis.

Jack reached down to finish himself off as Ennis pumped into him, but  
Ennis smacked his hand away. Jack’s hand returned to grip the brass bed frame  
and let the intense pleasure wash completely over him. Even when Jack came,  
Ennis kept pumping him, drawing out the pleasure to a sweet ache. Ennis pounded  
deep into Jack, fingers digging into the lean muscle of Jack’s left hip.

Ennis let his control go and Jack took it, whispering his broken  
encouragements. “C’mon… c’mon, damn it, Ennis…”

As Ennis came, he bit into Jack’s shoulder, muffling his moans of  
pleasure. Nuzzling his cheek over the bite mark, he mumbled an insincere  
apology. Moving slowly apart, they ended up falling onto the bed face-to-face  
with their legs entangled.

“Guess I smell like you now,” Jack murmured and settled his head on the  
same pillow as Ennis.

Ennis only had to shift slightly closer to kiss Jack. It was unhurried now  
that Ennis had nothing left to prove. When he pulled away, Ennis rested his  
forehead against Jack’s. 

Ennis locked his intense gaze with Jack’s satisfied one. “Good.”

End Part 11.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Jack wiggled his big toe, feeling the hole in his sock. Knowing it was there all day had driven him crazy. He had meant to throw the sock out for awhile now since it was past mending, but that didn’t seem to be happening. Getting dressed in the dark he would fumble about in the pile of clean laundry they kept at the end of the bed until he found two socks. It didn’t matter if they matched since they were all the same, or if they were his because Ennis and him shared most things these days, including socks.

Ennis was usually up first and the girls had been screaming like hellions at dawn. Finding a sock without a hole in it had been the least of Jack’s worries this morning. Ennis had crawled over him when he heard the baby squawking. It was Saturday and they had the day off. All Jack wanted to do was sleep in. When Jack had tried to hide his head under a pillow, Ennis had swatted his ass and growled a threat at him. Jack had thrown the pillow at him, but got up to help anyway.

The sun was high in the sky, chasing away the morning chill. Jack’s hair was still sticking every which way like it had when he stumbled shirtless and dressed only in a pair of boxers to follow Ennis downstairs this morning.

The hole in his sock was still driving Jack crazy and like most things that came to his attention, he felt the need to share it with Ennis.

“My sock’s got a hole in it.”

Ennis was standing over a galvanised bucket filled with sudsy water. “Find it under the bed?”

“Yep.”

“Wore it yesterday,” Ennis said. “Should’ve thrown it out. Past mending.”

“If it needed throwing out, then why didn’t you throw it out?” Jack asked with exasperation.

Ennis shrugged his shoulders, already dismissing the question. His concentration was on a shirt he was rubbing against a washboard. He pulled out the small shirt from the bucket, squinting at a particularly stubborn stain.

Ennis ran his thumb over the dark stain and scowled. “What do ya think they got into? It’s not coming off.”

“God knows,” Jack snorted. The seam of the sock had rolled under his toes and he had enough. Jumping on one foot, he began to pull off his boot. “If there’s muck about, they’ll find it. Still don’t know how Junior managed to get gum in her hair when we don’t give her gum.”

Ennis dunked the shirt back into the water and picked up the lye soap, rubbing it over the stain. “Hate doin’ woman’s work.”

Jack pulled off his boot with a grunt of triumph. Loosing his balance, he settled his socked foot onto the ground. “Can’t be helped, friend.”

“Yeah,” Ennis grumbled. He would rather do women’s work and have Jack around, then still have Alma doing the housework.

They didn’t have the money to afford the laundromat in town and even though Joyce offered to do their laundry, they refused to take her up on the offer. The woman already did too much for them.

The girls were nearby playing something akin to fetch with the dog that lived under the house. Too young to really thrown the ball, the hectic game involved Junior holding the ball and spinning in circles as the dog ran around her. The baby was happy enough to watch and would clap her hands when Junior eventually tumbled to the ground in a fit of giggles.

Ennis seemed to have given up on the stain and tossed the shirt into the bucket of water they used for rinsing. He almost missed, splashing water onto Jack’s socked foot.

“Careful now,” Jack groused, snatching up the shirt hanging over the edge of the bucket. “You drop this one in the dirt ‘n’ you’ll have to wash it again.”

A hint of smirk tugged at the corner of Ennis’ mouth. “Yeah, yeah.”

Jack peeled off the wet sock with distasteful expression. He still had one boot on when he tossed the sodden sock over his shoulder. Toeing his remaining boot off, Jack dunked Junior’s shirt into the bucket. Ringing it out, he then shook it and made sure to splash Ennis with the droplets.

He held up the shirt and hung it on the clothesline. “Junior’s growin’ like a weed. ‘Bout time to set this one aside for Jenny’s hand-me-downs. Can we afford to take her shoppin’?”

Ennis’ lips fell into a thin line. Even with the two of them working regular hours and splitting bills, things were always tight with two children. Alma wasn’t contributing anything and Ennis wouldn’t take money from her family even if they offered.

“We’ll find the money,” Ennis mumbled. “Won’t have my girls runnin’ around in a potato sack.”

Jack chuckled at the imagery. He peeled off his sock with no hole and tossed it into the wash bucket. “Don’t think it’ll ever come to that. We’re makin’ do.”

Ennis glanced at the girls, then down at the bucket. “Ya don’t think’ll they want fancy dresses, or somethin’?”

The girls almost always wore overalls or jeans with shirts. Some of their clothes were hand-me-downs that Joyce collected from her friends. None of the clothes Joyce brought by were dresses though.

Jack moved closer to Ennis and bumped shoulders with him. “Don’t figure nothin’ when it comes to women, but they’re still lil’ girls. Might be a day when they want to start dressin’ up, but we’ll deal with that when it comes around. Junior’s barely outta diapers. Figure dresses ‘n’ boys are a long while off.”

Ennis’ scowl darkened at the mention of boys. “Bein’ a tomboy ain’t so bad.”

Jack clapped Ennis’ on the shoulder, letting his hand come to rest on the back of Ennis’ neck. “I pity any boy who comes around here. Your girls are gonna be lookers like their daddy.”

A slight blush rose to Ennis’ cheeks and he nudged Jack’s bare feet with his boot. “When they get older, they can help out around the ranch. Won’t be too attractive to boys covered in muck.”

Jack squeezed Ennis’ neck, getting the mental image of Ennis pacing the front porch with a shotgun chasing off would-be suitors. “My folks might be Pentecostal, but I’d consider converting to bein’ a Catholic jus’ so we could send the girls off to be nuns.”

Ennis chuckled and the corner of his eyes scrunched together in laugh lines. He toed off his own boots and nudged Jack’s foot again with his socked foot. “School’s not far off for Junior.”

For all of the long hours Ennis worked, Jack was sure he had never seen a more loving father, or one that worried more. In his quiet way, Ennis never voiced his concerns, but Jack could read through them. When Ennis came back with a tattered book on horse medicine, Jack hadn’t said a thing. That night he had fallen in love with Ennis even more when he saw the man laying on the living room floor and reading to the girls. His reading voice was slow and steady, enthralling the girls even though they didn’t understand most of the words on hoof rot. Jack had figured out that Ennis was worried about the girls learning to read. Every night Ennis read to the girls, even if it was for a few minutes. The picture books were all at the Wroe’s place, so Ennis read to the girls about horses, farm machinery, and from the farmer’s almanac.

“Junior’ll do fine at school,” Jack told Ennis. “She’s as smart as a whip.”

Junior’s face was currently streaked with dirt and she was pulling the dog’s tail.

“Yeah?” Ennis sounded unsure.

“Uh huh.”

“She’s tried to eat dirt…”

“I’ve eaten worse,” Jack chuckled. “Trust me. All kids that age try to eat anything not tied down. At least she hasn’t tried to stuff peas up her nose lately.”

Ennis groaned when reminded of Junior stuffing peas up her nose. The young father had been so distraught that he called the doctor in a panic, then nearly punched a hole in the wall when the doctor laughed and said it was perfectly normal, telling him to give her a hot bath.

Despite all of the drama with Alma, life went on. Dirty socks needed to be washed and runny noises, peas stuffed up them or not, needed to wiped. Sometimes it was a little surreal for Jack that he was part of Ennis’ family now. That when there was a scraped knee, Junior would cry for him and he knew now he had to blow cool air on it before kissing it better. The girls still woke up crying in the middle of the night as kids were wrought to do, but never called for their Mama.

As they watched the girls, Ennis’ hand trailed down Jack’s back to tug on his belt loop. “Ya wearin’ my jeans, again?”

“Maybe.”

Ennis was thinner than Jack and while they could fit in each others clothes, Ennis’ jeans were tighter on Jack than his own. Ennis’ hand slipped lower and squeezed an ass cheek encased tightly in denim.

“Not complainin’,” Ennis whispered in Jack’s ear and caressed along Jack’s ass. “Don’t mind it so much when you’re bending over. Think ya do it on purpose.”

“Do not, cowboy.” Jack’s breath caught. “All mine were jus’ dirty, is all.”

“Uh huh.” Ennis didn’t sound very convinced. “Maybe I wait ‘n’ do laundry jus’ so ya gotta wear my jeans.”

Jack snuck his arm around Ennis’ waist, letting his hand rest on Ennis’ hip. The moments when Ennis was comfortable letting Jack this close outside of the safety of the bedroom were becoming more common. Ennis would deny it if confronted, but Jack knew the man craved affection like anyone else.

“Sneaky,” Jack chuckled. “Maybe I’ll hide all your shirts so you’ll be forced to wear one of my, as you call ‘em, so-called flashy shirts.”

“Ain’t wearin’ no red shirt.”

“I’d be fine with you wearin’ nothin’ at all.”

Ennis let his hand linger a little on Jack’s ass before tugging his belt loop again. Jack had loved when things had been frantic on Brokeback Mountain, but he also craved the slow flirting they had now even if it didn’t always lead to sex. It made Jack wonder if it was this intense between them now, how bad it would have gotten if they had made the mistake of separating after Brokeback Mountain.

Usually it was Ennis who had obvious insecurities and reluctance about their relationship. Ennis seemed to sense in his odd way when Jack was starting to let any insecurities surface. It wasn’t that Jack didn’t have them, but he was simply better at hiding them behind cockiness and simple stubbornness to cling to the best thing in his life. But, every once in awhile Jack’s insecurities would peek through and Ennis would reassure without words that everything was okay. Right now that signal was in the rubbing of his hand up and down Jack’s lower back.

Jack also found the best way to quell any self doubts was in the pleasure to be found in their shared domesticity. Washing socks together shouldn’t be romantic, but it was in its own way. It meant a whole lot to Jack that he and Ennis were able to share even the smallest, mundane aspects of their lives.

It meant even more to Jack that when Junior ran over to them, that Ennis didn’t pull away. He kept his palm pressed on Jack’s lower back.

Junior wiped her runny nose with the back of her hand. “Jack Jack?”

“Yeah?”

“For you,” Junior said. Her voice was quiet and very much in a copycat tone that her father usually used. She held out her hand and gazed at him with solemn big brown eyes. The rock in her hand was an apparent treasure she was offering up to Jack and covered in mud.

Jack was reluctant to pull away from Ennis’ touch, but he had to do it to crouch down in front of Junior. He took the rock and held it up, inspecting as if it was a gold nugget.

“Thanks, darlin’. It’s awfully nice.”

Junior pursed her lips in a serious way that reminded Jack of Ennis’ mannerisms again, then nodded her head satisfied that her delivery was made. The dog barked, wagging its tail and she was distracted for a moment. Attention drawn back to Jack, she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, then wiped her nose again with a loud sniffle. The dog barked and this time got Junior’s full attention as she turned to run after.

Jack rolled the rock between his fingers and stood up. He slipped the rock into his pocket, set on keeping it. He thought the perfect spot would be next to the wooden horse Ennis’ had whittled and given to him.

Jack’s voice was low and rough when he confessed, “Friend, I never thought anyone could mean as much to me as you, but them girls…”

Ennis was smiling at Jack and dared to lean for his own kiss on the cheek. Staying close, Ennis’ hand settled and rested on Jack’s hip. The emotions Ennis felt were clear on his face, but he seemed to be struggling to voice them. Ennis had never been, and never would be one for words. Ennis snuck his finger under Jack’s belt loop, pulling him even closer.

“We got socks to wash,” Ennis mumbled.

That wasn’t exactly what Jack was expecting to hear, but he could sense Ennis was uncomfortable with emotion.

“Socks, huh?”

“Yeah.” Ennis nodded, but was keeping Jack trapped close to him. He bite his bottom lip and seemed to be trying to find the bravery to tell Jack something.

“Don’t have to tell me anything, cowboy,” Jack whispered to him. “I know.”

Ennis got a stubborn set to his expression. “Thing is,” he said and hesitated with a long pause. “Family’s about washin’ socks ‘n’ the like together. Never washed a sock with or for no one else. Here ya are washin’ yours with mine, along with the girls under things. Don’t mind your prattlin’ on. With everythin’ nasty with Alma ‘n’ her kin… ya stickin’ around it’s….” Ennis was clearly struggling, but still pressed on. “Good. I don’t let no one else get close to my girls ‘n’ saddle my horses.”

“Speakin’ of gettin’ close…”

“Hush up,” Ennis cut him off, obviously not wanting Jack to make light of it. “Got more to say. If anything went bad…”

“They won’t, Ennis.”

“If they do,” Ennis pushed on. “Don’t want them to, but if they do, I wouldn’t let them take my girls, or…” Ennis had to break eye contact with Jack when he admitted this confession. “Won’t let ‘em take you.”

Jack didn’t care how uncomfortable showing affection in front of anyone, including the girls, was for Ennis. Jack pulled Ennis into a bear hug, crushing him in an embrace. Ennis was telling him that he was loved, trusted, and wouldn’t be abandoned. The man Jack loved was making him a promise.

On the radio Marty Robins was singing about Ruby Ann, but Alma was barely listening to the words. It was simply background noise as she laid on her bed, her eyes quickly scanning the brochure laid out on her pillow. It was crumpled having been pulled out from the bottom of a purse and handed to Alma secretly.

Just this morning Alma had dutifully gone to church dressed up in an outfit her Mama chose. Expecting the judging eyes of the congregation to be upon her, Alma had been relieved to find out there was someone else to draw attention away from her. There was another black sheep who had returned to the flock, even if temporarily.

While everyone else sung hymns, Alma’s gaze had been settled on Emily Bewley. The young woman had been a few years ahead of Alma in school and disappeared right after graduation. Now she was standing beside her family proudly wearing her military dress uniform. After the service Alma’s mother whispered to her about the scandal of Emily running off to join the army and how her poor mother worried with the girl serving as a nurse in Vietnam. Alma had ignored her mother’s hissed condemnation of women having no right to be messing about in things that weren’t their place or concern. Emily had seemed oblivious to the whispers and stares as she stood beside her mother sipping lemonade at the women’s tea afterwards.

Alma had waited for her mother to get distracted by a lively debate about pound cakes before she dared to get closer to Emily. In a time where it was still a little bit of a scandal for women to be wearing pants, it was an alien sight to see a woman dressed in a uniform, even if it was a skirt. The oddity drew Alma’s interest in a way nothing had in months. She had waited for Emily’s mother to get drawn into a pound cake debate turned argument before she approached the fellow outcast with a shy smile. Alma had spent the rest of tea avoiding the pound cake debacle and had become enthralled listening to Emily's take about her time in the army. Emily was proud to have been all over the world to places Alma had only heard the names of… New York, Germany, Japan, and Houston. Whether they were foreign countries or cities she had only seen in movies, it didn’t matter.

“Challenging jobs with unlimited opportunities,” Alma repeated out loud as she read the brochure again.

Emily had joked that women in the military other than nurses ended up being either secretaries or clerks, but Alma hadn’t laughed. There was no horror in the prospect of being either, especially if it gave you the chance to travel. Where Emily had groaned about having to wear a uniform, Alma had thought it was practical and would be a relief not to fret about impressing anyone with your wardrobe. Emily had joked about how even in Vietnam service women were told to wear skirts and pumps by something called ‘The Brass’. To Alma it didn’t seem like such a big deal since that was what she was expected to wear most of the time anyways if she wanted to be respectful. Emily had stopped laughing when Alma had quietly pointed out that Emily had simply traded one kind of uniform and rules for others that were at least clear. That’s when Emily had slipped Alma the recruitment brochure from her purse and pressed it into Alma’s hand. Emily had whispered to Alma that there was life outside of Riverton and maybe she had some thinking to do. Then Emily had plastered on the fake smile that Alma recognized from wearing it herself and left to join her own mother.

The service women in the black and white brochure looked sharp to Alma as she ran her finger over the glossy page. They held the mystery for her that the starlets used to in the magazines from Hollywood when she was younger, even if these service women were wearing sensible shoes. Emily had never quite fit in and she had changed from the girl who had left Riverton. Coming back on leave proved that the woman wasn’t one of the locals anymore and Alma doubted that Emily would be coming back to settle down. As Emily had said, she had escaped.

There was a knock on the door that interrupted Alma’s musings.

“What are you doing in there?” her mother asked.

The voice in the back of Alma’s head reminded her that she was not brave like Emily Bewley. Instead, she was only Alma Beers turned crazy Alma Del Mar with a queer husband and two little girls who lived with her husband and his queer best friend. The despair that had lifted listening to Emily settled back with the realism of her life.

Alma quickly shoved the brochure under her pillow and fumbled with the knitting pattern on her bedside table. “Lookin’ over a knitting pattern I got at the women’s tea.”

Alma knew it was a sin to lie, but this one slipped easily from her lips.

Her mother made a pleased noise as she pushed into Alma’s room without invitation. “Well, come downstairs and help me with supper. Peel the potatoes.”

Alma got off the bed and followed her mother downstairs absently wondering if they had potatoes in Vietnam.

“Goddamn it,” Ennis grumbled and tried to grab the bar of soap as it slipped off the side of the sink.

“Can rustle a half crazy steer, cowboy, but can’t catch no bar of soap,” Jack chuckled as the bar of slipped out of Ennis’ grip again. The soap circled the bottom of bucket that was propped in the kitchen sink. It was the same soap and bucket they used to wash the laundry.

Jack was sitting on the edge of the counter beside the sink, bare feet swinging and heels hitting the back of the cabinets. Ennis’ respond was a grunt as he seized the soap and gave Jack a sideway triumph glare before he plunged the soap into the bucket.

“Remind me again why we ain’t using the sink to wash dishes?” Jack tapped the side of the sink. “I’m pretty sure that’s what they’re made for.”

Ennis fished around the bucket and came out with a chipped mug. “Lost the plug.”

“Try stuffing somethin’ in the drain?”

Ennis rolled his eyes and huffed under his breath. Jack knew that meant Ennis had tried it, but it hadn’t worked.

“Bucket it is,” Jack agreed amiability.

Ennis swirled water around the mug, then silently he handed it to Jack. Drying it quickly with a towel, Jack hunched his shoulders and twisted back to deposit it in the cupboard behind him. It had been a long day over at the Wroe Ranch and the last thing they wanted to do was come back home to deal with crusted over dishes from the weekend.

It had been tough to keep his own eyes open as they road back in the dark. Junior slept curled in a ball between them, head resting in Ennis’ thigh. Jenny was still small enough that Jack held her in his arms as she drooled on his shoulder. It had been a long day for the girls because Junior didn’t so much as twitch when they drove over the ruts and bumps of the country roads. Ennis drove with one hand on the steering wheel and the other curled over Junior so she wouldn’t slide off the seat. They had carried the girls in who continued to sleep like the dead as they were laid down for the night.

Now they were both wanting to crash, but there were still the dishes to deal with since flies had started circling the crusted pots and dishes. A part of Jack felt like calling his old man some days and telling him he was wrong about him before hanging the phone up. He would love if the gossips who shared his folk’s party line overheard it. His old man said he shirked responsibility, but here he was a family man. He wasn’t out carousing, but instead staying at home in a place he helped pay the rent on and doing dishes.

“What ya smilin’ at?” Ennis asked and poked Jack in the side with his finger.

Jack’s slight smile grew to a full blown grin. “Was jus’ thinkin’ there’s nothin’ else I’d rather be doin’ right now.”

Ennis wrinkled his nose as he often did when he couldn’t quite get what Jack was on about. He shoved a wet plate against Jack’s chest.

“That’s the last one,” Ennis said. “Maybe you were in the sun too long. Spouting nonsense.”

Jack threw his towel at Ennis and snorted with laughter as it landed on Ennis’ head, covering his face. Jack rubbed the plate against his shirt to dry it and tried not to drop it as he continued to laugh. Ennis pulled the towel off his head and quickly twisted into an impromptu weapon. Lashing out with the improvised whip, Ennis lashed Jack in the thigh.

“There’s two things I’d rather be doin’ than dishes.”

Jack rubbed his thigh and heaved in breath as he tried to stop laughing. Somehow he managed to deposit the plate in the cupboard behind him by reaching over his shoulder.“And what’s that?”

“Sleeping ‘n’…” Ennis hesitated and looked at the door that lead to the girl’s room.

Ennis wadded the sopping towel, throwing it into the corner. He moved slowly, both from weariness and determination so that Jack understood his intention. Ennis ran his hand along Jack’s thigh down to his knee and moved to stand in between his legs. Leaning in close, Ennis cupped the side of cupped the side of Jack’s face. With the quiet resolve Ennis moved through every action in life with, he kissed Jack slowly and nipped at his bottom lip. With a sigh, Ennis pulled away and rested his forehead against Jack’s.

“Rather be doin’ that,” Ennis whispered.

Jack laid both hands on Ennis’ lean waist, pulling him in close. “I’m all for that.”

Jack’s mind fast forwarded to Ennis pulling him off the counter and turning him around, only to push him down to take him right there. A second later, the idea of Ennis’ kneeling down to suck him off was also a tempting option. That in turn led to the notion of Ennis pulling him off the counter, pushing down on his shoulders to demand Jack go to his knees. Jack was shifting on the counter as he started to harden.

“I know what you’re thinkin’,” Ennis murmured. His hand darted out to cup Jack exactly where he wanted to be touch, even if it was through his jeans. “Can see it on your face. Ya got that look you get.”

“Tell me what I’m thinkin’,” Jack prompted. It was so rare for Ennis to talk like this during sex that he wanted to encourage it.

Ennis continued to rub Jack’s cock through his jeans. Jack’s stifled moans echoed through the kitchen and he took Ennis’ silence to mean the man wasn’t going to respond.

Ennis licked his chapped lips nervously. Jack had to strain to hear him murmur and just about came when Ennis said, “Dick. You’re thinkin’ about dick.”

Jack banged his head back against the cupboard. Ennis was working him hard, but seemed to get frustrated with the lack of his own stimulation. He growled low in his throat and moved his hands to grab Jack’s ass. Pulling Jack right against his body, he started to rut against him. Held captive to Ennis’ desire, Jack had no choice but to take it.

“Know how ya think, Twist,” Ennis growled. “Think with your dick ‘n’ about my dick. Think ‘bout what I can do to ya, or with ya…”

“Yeah.” Jack tried to squirm, but was held tight in Ennis’ grasp. “Let me go ‘n’ I can do all the things I was thinkin’ about…”

“No.” Ennis’ hips pistoned forward in an increasing rhythm. Part of it was the fear of the girls waking up and finding him with his britches around his ankles. But, the strongest desire was simply to make Jack come in his jeans. “Like this.”

It didn’t matter that they were bone tired or what they shared was hated by others. It didn’t even matter at this moment that Ennis was still technically married and Alma was always hanging over them. The only thing that mattered was each other.

In the kitchen of their cheap rented house with the tilted floor, Ennis kissed Jack and reinforced everything he felt for him.

Want. Need. Passion, love, and respect.

Jack was his partner and friend in everything. Ennis wanted to tell him after the urgency of desire was washed away with their muffled grunts. Kissing Jack softly in the afterglow, Ennis couldn’t force the words out. Ennis knew that the man was changing him. There was a time, even a few months ago that Ennis would have feared to get this intimate with Jack in their own home outside of the privacy of their bedroom. When they were alone, there was no distance or personal space between them. Sometimes Ennis wasn’t sure where he began and Jack ended anymore.

Ennis was changing because of Jack. He thought it was probably for the better.

END Part 12.


	13. Chapter 13

“Please pass the potatoes.”

Alma picked up the bowl of mashed potatoes and passed it to her father.

The potatoes were always served in her mother’s red bowl and never straight from the pot. The Red Potato Bowl was only used to serve potatoes and had never seen a batch of cookie dough or creamed corn. Alma thought it was a little unnecessary that they called it The Red Potato Bowl since there was only one potato bowl and there was no need to distinguish by colour, but that’s what it was called.

Harry and Bernice Beers prided themselves on formality of what Bernice called “The Small Niceties”. There was no time in Alma’s memory that she remembered her mother ever serving potatoes out of the pot. When she was girl, Bernice taught her the proper routine of how to cook and serve potatoes correctly.

Tonight Alma had followed the same routine growing up and it carried on into her married life. You always washed the potatoes and laid them out onto a clean tea towel. With a sharp knife you peeled the potatoes from top to bottom in one long strip if possible, always putting the peels into a separate bowl. When Alma had asked why oh so long ago why you couldn’t put the peels on the counter, Bernice had told her cleanliness was next to Godliness. When she was a little older her mother explained further that a woman was always judged by the neatness of her kitchen and you never knew when someone was going to drop by.

Alma wasn’t sure how a misplaced potato peel could affect the social standing of the family, but she had listened to her mother then and now. The final step was to assure potatoes were always mashed in the pot they were boiled in, never the bowl they were to be served in. The rim of the bowl had to be pristine when it was served. If the spoon touched the side of the bowl, you had to carefully wipe it down. When Alma’s sister moved away she had joked one of the reason was to get away from The Red Potato Bowl. Alma had read into the joke knowing her sister was glad to get away from their mother’s controlling and meticulous ways.

As Alma watched her father scoop out the potatoes, she had a flash of a memory. This was the second red potato bowl of her mother’s. When Alma was younger she remembered coming home from school with her sister. Then Bernice had red, puffy eyes but, was still flying around the kitchen making supper and pretending nothing was wrong. The Beers’ girls were well enough trained to play along. They didn’t mention the pitying looks they had gotten from their teachers, or the whispered rumours they pretended not to hear. They pretended they didn’t know their daddy was stepping on their mama. Everyone in town knew that Harry Beers was knocking boots with Renny Larsh and that all of the boot knocking had lead to her getting knocked up. When Renny was out walking in town with her cousin Joyce, Alma and her sister crossed the street pretending not to see her rounded belly.

All it had taken was for one of the neighbours to walk by the kitchen window and Bernice had seen the woman shaking her head. Muttering about people judging her, Bernice had hurled the bowl against the wall, shattering into dozens of pieces. Alma and her sister had been silent and unsure what to do at the display of intense emotion. This was opposite of how their mother taught them to cope with anything out of the ordinary. You were supposed to ignore things, not act out.

Then Bernice had pulled herself together, picking up the shards of The Red Potato Bowl and drying her eyes with the corner of her apron. Bernice had told the stunned girls to wash up for supper because their father would be home from work soon. They never said anything to question her and never questioned that Bernice went out to buy the exact same bowl the next day. From that day on everyone pretended this Red Potato Bowl was the same one Bernice had gotten at her wedding shower.

“The potatoes are lumpy,” Harry complained and pushed them around his plate.

“Alma made them,” Bernice said. “I told her to mash them longer.”

Alma didn’t defend herself, but knew her mother expected her to apologize. Alma kept her head down and mumbled, “Sorry.”

She wasn’t going to tell her parents that she was used to making her potatoes that way now because Ennis preferred his mashed potatoes a little lumpy.

“I was at the store today,” Bernice said. She grabbed The Red Potato Bowl and stirred the spoon around with a disgusted expression. “Monroe was asking after you, Alma.”

Alma chased a few peas around her plate with her fork. “Oh.”

Harry’s brow came down a bit. “That all you have to say?”

“No, sir,” Alma answered and stabbed a pea on one prong of her fork. “He’s nice enough.”

“Too bad he wasn’t nice enough for you before you married that no good louse.”

Alma stabbed another pea, lining them up in a row on her fork. She didn’t dare look at her father. He was breaking one of the cardinal rules of the family to pretend that everything was okay. Every night he came home and expected a home cooked meal. Every night, even the nights he came in smelling of cheap perfume, he got his home cooked meal and ate it at the table with the women in his family. Never once had there been a confrontation to break the tension. Her mother kept on smiling and expected her daughters to do the same.

The resentment boiled up deep inside Alma at the unfairness of the situation. Her father was a man and allowed to make mistakes, but was never called on it. It didn’t seem fair that every small move of her was analyzed and judged.

Alma stabbed a third pea onto her fork. She pushed the resentment down and made sure her voice was even when she spoke, “Can’t change the past.”

Sitting ramrod straight in her chair, Bernice chided, “Don’t speak back to your father.”

Alma managed to stab a fourth pea onto her fork without loosing the row of others. “I’m not. I’m simply speaking the truth.”

“You made your bed, now you lie in,” Harry told her.

Alma fought the urge to roll her eyes at the old expression and felt that resentment fighting its way up again. “I ain’t laying in no one’s bed but my own.”

“Don’t say ain’t,” Harry corrected automatically. “Another bad habit you picked up from Del Mar. We raised you better than to be acting and speaking low class. If you had listened to me and not married a cowhand, then you wouldn’t be in this mess. He was never good enough for you, but you were too dumb to see that.”

The words slipped out Alma’s mouth before she could stop herself. “I’m not a dummy.”

Harry put his palms flat on the table top. He was sitting at the head of the table where he always sat. “From where I’m sitting you sure as hell are looking like one.”

“Harry, your language. Please.” She grabbed the bowl of peas and held out a spoonful of peas. “More, peas?”

“Not now.” Harry’s cold case gaze was focused on Alma. “We’ve only ever wanted the best for you. Seeing as how you can’t be trusted to think for yourself, someone has to do it for you. First things first, despite everything, you’re still a married woman. You’ll be watching what you say to Monroe and where you’re seen with him. You’ll be cordial, but not overly friendly. Am I clear?”

Alma was staring at the row of peas on her fork, not even having a slight hunger anymore. “Yes, sir.”

“Good.” Harry nodded his head at his plate and waited for Bernice to scoop another heap of peas. “As long as you’re under my roof, you’ll do as I say.”

“Yes, sir,” Alma parroted the expected answer again.

“I’ve held my tongue long enough.” When Bernice gave Harry a pointed look, he glared back at her, expecting deference to his authority. “You’ve been moping around here too long. You made a bad choice in a husband and father. I think you realized that and you’re feeling sorry for yourself. It’s time you got your head on straight and start being a mother again.”

“You don’t understand,” Alma murmured.

“You’re right,” Harry agreed. He grabbed a biscuit and slathered butter onto it. “I don’t understand you. You don’t have a lick of common sense or motherly virtue. You’re too damn selfish and weak. You made a bad decision, then runaway like a coward. Well, vacation’s over, missy.”

Bernice laid her hand on her chest and it fluttered a bit. “Harry, please. You’re making a fuss. My heart.”

That was the one guilt trip Bernice reserved for rare occasions. Her heart had never been the same after what Bernice called ‘Her Bad Spell’. Bernice had fainted clutching her chest following the confrontation with Joyce Wroe at the funeral of Joyce’s adopted son, who happened to be Harry’s illegitimate child. The bad spell had left her bedridden for weeks and prone to getting tired easily. After Alma came back home, her mother had told her the only reason that she hadn’t taken on the girls herself was because of her condition.

Harry’s face paled a little at the mention of Bernice’s heart. He turned away from Alma and motioned at his plate. “The peas were good. What’s for dessert?”

Bernice rewarded Harry with a forced smile. “Apple crisp. Your favourite.”

Bernice got up from the table and went into the kitchen, the door swinging in her wake. Harry’s eyes narrowed and he leaned in closer to Alma. He pointed at her with his fork, shaking it for emphasis. “You’ll be the death of your mother if you keep this up. People are talking. You know how she hates that. She’s a good woman and you’re shaming her with your acting up.”

Alma let her fork drop back onto the plate and the peas scattered, falling onto the table. “Ennis wants a divorce.”

Harry winced, but he looked anything but surprised. “I suspected as much. You haven’t been trying hard enough. The boy might be an ass, but he’s still a man. Being a good wife doesn’t take much. Your Mama taught you how to cook and you’re easy enough on the eyes. A cowhand can’t have too high expectations for you. A hot meal, pretty smile, and happy kids.” Harry reached out and grabbed Alma’s wrist. “You’re my daughter and I’ve been defending you. No one outside the family needed to know about the filth that was piling up in your cheap, rented house because you were getting too lazy to pick after yourself. Your Mama told me how much you were sleeping, not bothering to get changed out of your pyjamas into the day. It’s an embarrassment. Try hard enough and he’ll take you back. If not, then you take those girls as is your right and if he wants to see them, then he’ll have to take you back.”

“Stop,” Alma hissed and tugged trying to free her arm.

“No, you need to hear this.” Harry tightened his grip on her wrist. “Your biggest sin is being selfish. You don’t get to walk away from your responsibilities. Just because your marriage isn’t what you think it should be doesn’t give you an excuse to walk away. You took a sacred vow before the Lord.” His glance slipped towards the kitchen where Bernice was puttering around behind the closed door. “In sickness and in health, and for better and worse. You don’t get to walk away because you’re not happy. Children need two parents.”

Alma managed to wrench her wrist out of her father’s grip. “You’ve got no right to judge me.”

“I’m your father.”

“You’re…” Alma rubbed at her wrist, but didn’t get a chance to finish as her mother came into the dining room carrying a tray of apple crisp.

Bernice glanced first at Harry, then at Alma. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine, dear,” Harry assured her with his own strained smile. “That smells delicious.”

Bernice set the steaming apple crisp down on a pot holder. “Thank you.”

Harry’s tense expression lessoned a little and he genuinely looked concerned. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, thank you.” Bernice poured heavy cream over the largest portion and served her husband first.

The resentment was too real for Alma, but she clung to it. It was the most intense emotion she had felt other than depression and disappointment wearing her down in the longest time. In the back of her mind, she wondered if she would have turned into her mother if things had worked out differently. Alma didn’t want to think of herself serving Ennis lumpy mashed potatoes with a fake smile. Living that lie was just as messed up as living the way she was now.

Alma plastered her own fake smile on and accepted her portion of apple crisp. As she ate the dessert it settled heavy and sour in her stomach. She was quickly realizing she didn’t have any answers, but it seemed like her parents didn’t have any either.

++++++

The quarters rolled around the bottom of the glass jar and Junior clapped her hand at the sound.

“Jack Jack!” Junior pointed at the jar. “Again.”

“Sorry, darlin’, but I can’t do it again.” Jack slipped his hands into his pockets and pulled out the inside lining. “I don’t have any more spare change.”

Junior’s bottom lip slipped out into a pout. “Why?”

Jack slipped his pocket liners back into his pockets. He crouched down in front of Junior and tapped the tip of her nose with his fingertip. This particular question was her favourite one recently. Ennis told him it didn’t make much sense to reason with a toddler, but Jack liked talking and she liked to listen.

“I don’t have any spare change ‘cause I’m savin’ it in that there jar for some somethin’ special.”

Junior tilted her head to the side. “Why?”

Jack glanced at the jar sitting on the kitchen counter that had mostly pennies in it. “’Cause I want to take ya girls ‘n’ your daddy somewhere nice.”

“Why?”

“Mmm, maybe you should be askin’ where,” Jack chuckled. “Might take ya girls on vacation someplace nice when I got enough save up.”

Ennis sauntered into the kitchen with a sleeping Jenny in his arms. The baby had her face pressed against Ennis’ shoulder and was drooling onto his shirt. “Ya fillin’ her head with big dreams we can’t afford?”

Jack sighed and tapped Junior’s nose for a second time because it made her smile. “I’m not talkin’ Disneyland or nothin’, cowboy. If we get enough, when they’re older I’d like to take them someplace nice. Maybe the state fair.”

Ennis’ face was softened by a half smile. “State fair, huh?”

“Yeah.”

Ennis ran a hand over Jenny’s head, brushing down her curls. “Sure ya aren’t thinkin’ of going back into bullridin’?”

Junior yawned and that was Jack’s prompt to pick her up. Adjusting the toddler in his arms, her hugged her tight when she laid her head onto his shoulder and started to suck her thumb. “My bullridin’ days are over, friend.”

“Good.” Ennis shifted Jenny until she was supported by one arm. “I think Don’s buckskin gelding might have a bruised sole. He was handlin’ kinda footy the other day. Trot was off.”

“I’ll take a look at him with ya in the mornin’ in the paddock. We can ask Joyce for some apple cider vinegar to treat it if we have to.”

With his free hand, Ennis dug around into his pocket until he pulled out a dime and two nickels. He deposited them into the spare change jar and winced when Jenny fussed at the sound. Ennis froze momentarily until Jenny settled.

Finally feeling safe to move, Ennis wandered over to Jack and tugged on Junior’s socked foot. “She’s got odd socks on.”

Jack had to bend down to look to confirm Ennis’ state. “Sure enough. One’s white… and the other’s… pink? How’d she get pink socks?”

“Washed that flashy red shirt of yours with some white stuff. Turned it pink.”

“Some white stuff…” Jack’s eyes narrowed at Ennis’ mischievous smirk. “Define some stuff.”

“Well…” Ennis seemed to consider the question longer than he should. “Junior’s sock for a start.”

“And for a second?”

Ennis’ smirk was down right devilish now. “Maybe some of your boxers.”

“What?” Jack hissed his outrage because he dare not raise his voice with Junior in his arms.

“In the bottom of your drawer…” Ennis reached out and slapped Jack’s ass. “You got some pink drawers.”

“I swear to God Ennis Del Mar, if I wasn’t holdin’ a kid I whoop ya real good.”

“Mean ya could try ta whoop me.” Ennis’ posturing didn’t hold much credence with a babe in his arms as a living, drooling shield. “I’d win.”

“Why don’t we put the girls down for the night then you can…”

Jack didn’t get a change to finish his threat because Junior pulled her thumb from her mouth and gently slapped her hand over Jack’s mouth. “Hush up.”

Ennis’ snorted with laughter and Jack glared at him. “She learned that from you.”

Ennis started to walk towards the girl’s room. “Ya talk a lot.”

“Someone’s gotta with a house full of mulish, quiet Del Mars,” Jack complained. He followed Ennis into the girl’s room, setting Junior down in her crib. She glared up him with a mulish expression when Jack started to tug off her shirt to get her changed into her nightgown. It was the same mulish expression Ennis wore when he didn’t want to do something, but did it anyways to keep Jack quiet.

Ennis set a still sleeping Jenny down into her own crib that was pushed end to end with Junior’s. “Maybe this one’ll be more of a chatterbox.”

“I can hope so.”

Jack yawned, feeling his own weariness creeping up on him. He wasn’t sure how it happened, but in what seemed to be the blink of an eye Junior was already settled down and Ennis was standing behind him. Jack felt Ennis’ arm wrap around his waist and the heat of Ennis’ body as he pressed close. A small shiver ran down Jack’s spine when Ennis brushed a light kiss on his neck.

“Time for bed,” Ennis whispered into his ear. His voice was raw, not with passion, but heavy with fatigue.

“Long day.”

“Yep.”

They stood there for a few moments watching the girls sleep. Jack knew despite their earlier bravado that nothing raunchy would be happening tonight. They barely seemed to make it up the creaky stairs after they dragged themselves out of the girl’s room. Stripping down when you could barely keep your eyes open was a chore.

Jack soon felt his hand batted away by Ennis, who took over the chore of unbuttoning Jack’s shirt. Standing only in boxers Ennis muttered unintelligibly under his breath as he stripped Jack of his shirt and jeans. He pushed Jack to sit on the edge of the bed, then crouched down to peel off his socks.

Holding up one sock, Ennis swung it back and forth. “No holes.”

Jack gave him a tired, but genuine smile. He patted the mattress and it squeaked as he swung his legs up. “Long, fuckin’ day.”

Most often is was Jack who slept on his back with Ennis pressed close, arm and leg slung over him. Jack liked that just fine since he liked to run his fingers through Ennis’ hair to help lull him into sleep. Behind that quietness Ennis was forever thinking and that made sleeping hard with a world of worry chattering in his brain. Tonight it was different as Ennis flopped onto his back and pulled Jack down in reverse of their usual positions.

Jack fell asleep to Ennis humming an off key tune under his breath. As far as Jack was concerned everything was right in his world.

End Part 13.


End file.
